Thursday, May 10, 2012

What a shame...

Lately, I find myself in more and more situations where I am explaining Jude's disabilities to inquisitive people.  This is kind of new to me because Jude's delays weren't as obvious as a baby but the older he gets the more obvious they become and the more questions they raise.  Plus until this point, we've kinda been sheltered in our own little community.  Now we are venturing out into foreign lands, such as public schools (lol) and we come into contact with people that really don't know anything about Jude and are just curious. 

That's okay.

But sometimes...  it's not.

One of those sometimes was today.

Jude was being dismissed early from school for a doctor's appointment, so I went to my regular pick up spot in carpool.  I got there kinda early and got a sleeping Aubrey Lane out of her carseat (she'd been in it forever running errands), and I sat on a bench under the covered waiting area.

Well a nice elderly couple was there waiting to pick up their grandson, and naturally started a little conversation.  After a minute or so, the grandmother realized who my son is and mentioned that she'd seen his teacher bringing him out there before.

Then her husband casually asked "What's wrong with him?"  

I have learned in the past that I can't give a very detailed answer to this question without giving the asking party a crash course in genetics, chromosome patterns, DNA codes, etc, etc...  So I usually just answer, "He has a very rare genetic abnormality."  (Genetic translates to hard to understand and rare meaning you've never heard of it if you did understand it)

Well... I gave my simple answer.  And the man replied, "Well, at least he'll grow out of it."

Angel, you should just nod and agree to end it... but I couldn't.  

So I politely told him, "No, Sir.  He will never grow out of it.  Genes don't change.  They stay the same your entire life."

His response: "I hate to hear that.  What a shame!"

Don't gasp in horror.  I didn't take it to heart.  I'm sure the gentlemen did not mean any disrespect by his somewhat thoughtless comment.  In fact, I'd be willing to bet that his first thought was his own grandson and how sad he would be to have him affected by disability.  And it can be sad.  It's not one big glorious bed of roses all the time.

Nonetheless, it was still a disrespectful comment, but I smiled and let it slide because way deep down inside my heart, I knew that no matter what rebuttal I came up with, he would never truly understand.

What a shame...

shame | sh ām|nouna painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness ofwrong or foolish behavior she was hot with shame he felt a pang of shame at telling Alice a lie.• a loss of respect or esteem; dishonor the incident had brought shame on his family.• used to reprove someone for something of which they should be ashamed shame on you for hitting a woman for shame, brother!• [in sing. regrettable or unfortunate situation or action it is a shame that they are not better known.• a person, action, or situation that brings a loss of respect or honor :ignorance of Latin would be a disgrace and a shame to any public man.

What a shame that people feel sorry for someone as precious and joyful as Jude.  He enjoys life so much more than about everyone I know.

What a shame that people feel sorry for Lane and me as parents when our mighty God has shown himself to us in a way they will never know Him.

What a shame that most people will never experience the most genuine, unconditional love that Jude pours on us everyday.

What a shame that beautiful child is labeled more for his special needs than who he is... a fearfully and wonderfully made creation of the Lord.

What a shame they have to miss out on this smile everyday.

Honestly, this was not my plan or dream for my son and my family.  But I can't truthfully say that this is an "unfortunate situation" when this is the Lord's plan.  And if I don't believe that His plan is perfect, I have absolutely no reason to get up in the morning and not one shred of hope to hang onto at the end of each day.

My HOPE is IN the NAME of the LORD!!!

There is NO SHAME in being who the Lord, our Father, created us to be.  (I am trying to learn this on a personal basis as well).  He made us so that His glory may be revealed to us.

"And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him."
                  John 9:2,3


  1. This picture of Jude and Lane is one of my favorites, showing exactly the life Jude leads, spreading his wings and flying high above the obstacles he is faced with, simply because God gave him the strength, will, and amazing parents to do so. I admire you do much as a mother, you are so humble and tough. Some moms don't handle a cold as well as you handle everyday. I find that most people can't see things for more than face value and things that aren't as they expect them to be means they aren't normal, well it's not their normal. But Jude, he's amazing. I look forward to seeing that red curly hair, those bright blue eyes, and most of all that smile that just tells you he's glowing all over and is about to just pop!!! You, Lane, and God have made him the most wonderful little guy, and like you said, no its not a bed of roses all the time, but it's your normal, which makes it not so abnormal for those that truly know you and your precious little family. And a shame??? I think not. A blessing and true testament of Gods glory to say the least is what it is. Regardless of how often we see each other or how much time we spend together I thin the world of you and your family and you always have our support for anything! I've loved watching your babies grow and even helping each other with "business talk"! Not a shame little mama!!! A blessing to say the least!!

  2. Angel, I read this on my phone & just thought it was the most beautiful post. What a shame indeed. Your boy is so sweet & I know he is such a joy to you! And i mean - how can you resist those blue eyes & the gorgeous auburn curls!?

    Loved this post. :)

  3. You have such a great outlook! I love it. He is such a cutie and looks so happy!

  4. Wow, Angel! Your words here are so powerful and so true. Praising the Lord with you for your dearest Jude and resting in the knowledge that's God's plan for us is perfect:)
    Take care,
    Meredith Lampton, Emma Kate's aunt:)


Thank you for taking the time to share a kind word with me!