Sunday, January 24, 2016

Reflecting Just For a Second

Hey Y’all!

So I had all the intentions of not doing a recap of 2015 at all
because the more I thought about it, the more I decided that I
didn’t want to spend a whole lot of time on the past.  And I don’t
want to focus on the future.  I just want to relish in this present
moment.  However, so much was accomplished this past year
that it does deserve a tiny highlight section.  So here goes....

Last year was an incredible year; it held equal shares of
moments that left our souls flooded with the joy of His merciful
gifts and sorrow that caused our hearts to cry out for His grace.  
You know, just your typical year, right?

We started the year busy with no big plans on the books and
nothing too eventful in sight; however, I could never have
imagined the sight God had in store for us.  In April my sight
beheld Jude take his first independent steps.  At seven and a
half, Jude learned to walk....  (just let that soak in for a second...)  

I can’t even describe the joy it has been to watch this boy write
his own story.  I have so much to share on that in a later post>
not a recap, but a beautiful lesson and epiphany.  

Summer came without any plans or big vacations as well.  We
spent a few impromptu weekends at the beach and daycations
around town- which I really enjoyed.  And we celebrated our sweet girl's fourth birthday with a festive "Hoowaiian" party.  Then summer ended and brought with it a shocking and painful diagnosis.  You see some many months ago after tons of worry and prayer and fear and more prayer, Lane and I decided to step out in faith and expand
our family.  We knew our chances of miscarrying are extremely
high and that it is possible for a baby with special needs to be
born again, but we felt confident that the Lord would reward our
faithfulness with a quick and healthy pregnancy.  *So arrogant* 
Well month after month went by without any good news; only a
tiny bit of hope one month that wasn’t meant to be.  So after
doing some tests over the summer, I was handed the crushing
diagnosis of secondary infertility.  Fertility treatment was started
immediately, but sadly was unsuccessful.  The emotional stress
of all of this was debilitating, and we were trying to get the
construction of our house going, so I took a little break to
mentally regroup and get this house built.  *Ok, so this is as open
as I am going to be about it at this time.  Hiding it was getting
tough, but talking about it too much seems to wrongfully give
“it” a power over me.  There are so many things the Lord did
and is doing through us with this that I’d love to expound on, but
I’m just not ready yet. 

The same week I received my diagnosis, we met with
ANOTHER builder who Lane thought was perfect for the job. 
So into autumn we went.  Jude started 2nd grade, AL marched
off to prek4, and we started preparing our land for construction
with a beautiful house pad.  Our sweet redhead celebrated 8 years of wonderful life, then we took a great vacation to Gatlinburg (our favorite) and headed home to start working towards building. 

We had a great Thanksgiving and Christmas. Lane was home
for two weeks during Christmas, and it was sooooo nice to all be
together.  Our hearts were full to the brink watching our children
celebrate the birth of our Savior.  Jude was more involved and
understanding than ever, and our Aubrey Lane moved us to tears
with her sweet spirit that cherished giving and overflowed with
gratitude in receiving.  I cannot take credit for that child’s
beautiful heart; only give thanks for it every day.

On Christmas Eve, our construction loan was approved.  We
celebrated New Year’s Day by signing a contract with our
builder and here we are, mid January with lumber and building
materials in our yard.

So lots of things in 2015 to rejoice in, and lots of exciting things
to look forward to for 2016.  But I don’t want to spend too much
time reflecting, or too many hours planning the future.  Just
enjoy this present moment: my little loves snuggled up to each
side of me on the cold January day. 

Stay warm, sweet friends.