Sunday, December 9, 2012

Not myself

Lately, I have been so busy that I just don't feel like me, ya know? 

Have you ever been so busy in life that you barely have time to do the simple things that you thought described your everyday life?

The Angel I remember liked to bake, loved to cook, painted everything, took her kids to the park and zoo, sewed on occasion, read daily, grew things in her flower bed, harvested her own vegetables, spent quality time with family, hosted dinners for friends, planned a good party, and blogged regularly.

That doesn't sound anything like the Angel I know now.  

Recently, I have been so blessed that my work from home monogram business has exploded with success.  Unfortunately, that success has come with a price.

The price is a busier life than what I like to lead. 

Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful for it's success, but sometimes... well a lot of times, I've wondered if the price is worth the gain.

This past week, we enrolled AL in a parent's day out program close to our home.  The sad thing is (this program is great so far) I didn't pick the program necessarily based on it's reputation, but because it was the closest to the house and I can get more work done since I don't have to drive across town.

I cried my eyes out to leave her the first day.  The second day wasn't so bad.  I was too busy to notice that much.  

Back to the business...  I chose to live a lifestyle that would allow me to stay at home with my babies- at least until they went to school.  Well now I'm home, but having to send my babies somewhere to get things done.  

I know... I know... it's good for their social development/ mommies need a break too/ children need to learn to play with others and share... but at 3 she will go to preschool.  Then she will go to school for the next 15 years.  I only have a year and a half left with her at home with me.  And I do realize that being a stay at home mom is either a financial luxury or a financial sacrifice for most families; however, it has been a worthy sacrifice for our family.

That is just one tangent of guilt I feel for being so busy.  I could really go on and on, but I won't aggravate you by complaining about the bed I've made myself.

So... I have decided to take this matter to the Man upstairs.  I'm just praying He guides me in a decision on how to handle any of this.  

I am leaning towards not accepting anymore custom orders after the new year- only selling items I've made in my free time (like a real store), maybe make items to only sell in boutiques, or really just kind of quit all together until AL goes to school... 

In the meantime, I am going to reserve certain days just for fun things with the kids.  And I'm going to do them, no matter how dirty the house is or how many orders I have.  There will always be chores to do and orders to fill, but my babies will not always be babies.


  1. I can relate on SO MANY LEVELS. I have had all of these same thoughts lately. Praying that the Lord gives you wisdom and leads you in the right direction. Love you, sweet friend :)

  2. When they're grown and gone from home, you won't have the luxury of taking that time back. Please don't set yourself up for regrets later in life. I have them because I was married to a man who spent money before he earned it so I never had a choice except full time work as a teacher. If I'd just had ONE YEAR of putting them on the bus and having the house to myself instead of years of constant exhaustion and housework into the wee hours of the night, I'd have much happier memories of their childhood years.

  3. Yes, yes, take it to Jesus! He will lead & guide you! I am praying for you. I think it's awesome when moms can stay home with their babies...but i also believe God is behind such success with your business! Surely he can show you when to spend time on your business & when to focus more on those beautiful kids of yours!

    P.S. LOVE the matching hats! :)


Thank you for taking the time to share a kind word with me!