Who's ready?

Hey y'all...

Just a quick survey of who has their book already and ready to begin?

And who is in the process of getting their book?  I started reading a couple nights ago, but I don't want to take off and leave anyone or have a bunch of people waiting on me. ;-)

Who's ready for Chapter 1?

Unglued

Once upon a Christmas time, I was hurrying through a Christian book store searching for a couple gifts. In the midst of it, I picked up a book that had been capturing my attention for a while. It was Unglued; a book for women with emotional freak-out issues.  I almost put the book back, but saw it was on sale and said why not.

The next day, I felt the need to clean my house really well so that the chaos of the coming presents and toys didn't seem overwhelming.  And I get down to the very last step I do- vacuuming.  Well as I vacuumed, smoke and an awful stench began to rise from the vacuum. After about an hour of cleaning it and adjusting the belt (with the help of my husband), I tried again with the exact same result.

No biggie.  I'd been wanting a new vacuum for a while.  And I hate carpet anyway.

Well on Christmas Eve, the dear hubby and I ran to the Gates of Hell, better known as Walmart, for a couple last minute things.  On the way, we were discussing vacuums: Rainbow vacuum for lifetime, or cheaper model now (like a Shark in my mind, but obviously not Lane's) and a Central Vac when we build.  Well Lane suggested that we just get a $50 vacuum for now.

And I lost it.

I got in a really bad mood and picked a fight with Lane.  But the real problem was this: I felt like a $50 vacuum wouldn't really get my carpet clean. Which I hate the carpet anyway, which always feels and looks dirty no matter what.  But it's that way because my house is never really clean BECAUSE I'M JUST A MESS MYSELF!!  

Phew!

This is a daily routine for me.  Over sensitive outburst or complete freak outs when chaos arrives- and there is always chaos because I have two little kids. 

Can I get an AMEN?

Then yesterday, you don't even want to know the conversation that I had with my dear hubby after having both kids in a busy fabric store when he was supposed to have them but went duck hunting instead...

All that fussing that seemed so justified at the time, left me feeling awful about myself.  My children are growing and forming memories of me.  I don't want this behavior to be in those memories.  But I'm so exhausted all the time of trying to bite my tongue and smile and be a good person.

Needless to say, it was time to pick up the book.  I was addicted the minuted I read the subtitle.

"Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Raw Emotions"

I can't wait to get further in the book and work on some "imperfect progress."

Now the exciting part.  YAY!

I have really felt motivated the past few years to host some sort of Christian book club, supper club, study, small group... just something.  A source of encouragement, accountability, and fellowship for us and other women or couples.  But there was always two problems.

1. Time
After attending church, choir, bible study, playgroups, who had time to get together or the extra money to pay a sitter if they could find the time?

2. Place
My house is painfully tiny (yay for building soon) to host maybe more than 2 or 3 people max.  And it's rarely clean enough for me to let people in the front door anyway.

Then last night, a few of my Instagram darlings showed a great interest in the book and I jokingly mentioned an IG book club.  And people were actually interested!  

So here is my chance.  

I will be hosting my first Christian book club here on my blog! 

How great is that?  I know I have all of about 10 readers, but I wanted to extend the invite out to you as well.  Participate, share, encourage, be encouraged, have accountability all in the convenience of your own couch.  

And, of course, my first book will be Unglued by Lysa TerKeurst.

I'll be doing chapter by chapter right here on the blog.  So if you are interested, let me know, and then run out and get the book.  Buy it.  Download it. Go get it and let's get started!!!

P.S. There is also a study for this book, but baby steps...

Not myself

Lately, I have been so busy that I just don't feel like me, ya know? 

Have you ever been so busy in life that you barely have time to do the simple things that you thought described your everyday life?

The Angel I remember liked to bake, loved to cook, painted everything, took her kids to the park and zoo, sewed on occasion, read daily, grew things in her flower bed, harvested her own vegetables, spent quality time with family, hosted dinners for friends, planned a good party, and blogged regularly.

That doesn't sound anything like the Angel I know now.  

Recently, I have been so blessed that my work from home monogram business has exploded with success.  Unfortunately, that success has come with a price.

The price is a busier life than what I like to lead. 

Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful for it's success, but sometimes... well a lot of times, I've wondered if the price is worth the gain.

This past week, we enrolled AL in a parent's day out program close to our home.  The sad thing is (this program is great so far) I didn't pick the program necessarily based on it's reputation, but because it was the closest to the house and I can get more work done since I don't have to drive across town.

I cried my eyes out to leave her the first day.  The second day wasn't so bad.  I was too busy to notice that much.  

Back to the business...  I chose to live a lifestyle that would allow me to stay at home with my babies- at least until they went to school.  Well now I'm home, but having to send my babies somewhere to get things done.  

I know... I know... it's good for their social development/ mommies need a break too/ children need to learn to play with others and share... but at 3 she will go to preschool.  Then she will go to school for the next 15 years.  I only have a year and a half left with her at home with me.  And I do realize that being a stay at home mom is either a financial luxury or a financial sacrifice for most families; however, it has been a worthy sacrifice for our family.

That is just one tangent of guilt I feel for being so busy.  I could really go on and on, but I won't aggravate you by complaining about the bed I've made myself.

So... I have decided to take this matter to the Man upstairs.  I'm just praying He guides me in a decision on how to handle any of this.  

I am leaning towards not accepting anymore custom orders after the new year- only selling items I've made in my free time (like a real store), maybe make items to only sell in boutiques, or really just kind of quit all together until AL goes to school... 

In the meantime, I am going to reserve certain days just for fun things with the kids.  And I'm going to do them, no matter how dirty the house is or how many orders I have.  There will always be chores to do and orders to fill, but my babies will not always be babies.