tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89365340270320979022024-03-13T05:46:17.756-05:00The Mustard Seed FamilyThe Mustard Seedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14103251317872770464noreply@blogger.comBlogger258125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8936534027032097902.post-8764817488843918482017-09-26T13:17:00.001-05:002017-09-26T13:22:37.340-05:00Plum Paper Planner Review<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">At the end of last summer, I realized a busy season of life (school days and holidays) were fast approaching. One look at my little, but pretty pocket planner and I realized it just wasn't going to cut it. I had my eye on an Erin Condren Planner. But it's extremely pricey and there are too many other big names to compare it to before I go spending a ton on one planner that I need to keep for a whole year. So I put a call out on Facebook for help and opinions on planners.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So many people swore on their Erin Condrens, elegant Day Designers, and pretty Lilly Pulitzer Agendas, but one name was mentioned that I hadn't heard before- Plum Paper Planners. So I started doing a little research and decided to give it a try. It had all the bells and whistles of the Erin Condren, but cost less and offered more layout options for personalization.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I grabbed a coupon from a Plum Paper Fan group on Facebook, and ordered the new Large ME Planner. It took about 10 business days to ship, and about a week later, it arrived covered in bubble wrap in a cute little box.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">After a full year of using it, I can honestly say, I LOVE IT! </span></div>
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So lets find out why it's so great.</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The cover design:</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Plum Paper offered a LOT of pretty prints to choose from and every one could be customized with a name or monogram. The cover is thick but an extra clear plastic protector cover on both sides. (You can see mine is a little folded- thanks to the leaving it in the car and that was my mistake because Louisiana heat and plastic just don't mix) An extra bonus, they just revamped their cover material- it's completely tear resistant!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Right inside the cover is section for your personal information, but just your name and phone number. Really- loosing my planner has always been a fear of mine. A phone number is plenty of info; I'm not keen on putting my address down as well. There is also a full year(s) calendar to cover a year at glance for the dates you choose for your calendar. Then a couple pages for special days to remember in each month as well as a page for goals, ideas, and plans. It's a little more than I need, but many love this section and find it very helpful. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Then onto the months...</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">This is the part that SOLD me on Plum Paper. My Lilly Pulitzer planner before was an 18 month planner that started in July and ended in December the following year. I didn't like that you couldn't flow seamlessly from one planner to the next and having so many wasted pages (if I do year at a time, which I do) bugged me! However I needed a new planner in the middle of the year so I could keep up with the busyness of life. Plum Paper lets you personalize your planner right down to the month it starts and ends. Your planner can be anywhere from 6-18 months long. My current one is to get me through from late summer in 2016 all the way through 2017. I'll order 2018 only in November. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Each month comes with its own colorful tab to flip to making navigating the planner super easy. It starts the section with a monthly highlights page (super handy) and a notes page. I'm displaying last year's September because a certain six year old traced her hand on all my 2017 September pages in church this last Sunday. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Then you get to a month at a glance which is all I used to really need... before I became a mom that is. The squares are generously sized with a section for more notes in the margin as well as a glance to the next month. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The next pages in that month section are broken down one week at a time on a two page spread with vertical days- you have the option to select a horizontal spread instead. This is where it gets cool- if you are a student keeping up with classes, a professional blocking out sections of your life, a mom managing multiple kids, a blogger managing multiple tech and social media aspects, etc. etc., you can have Plum Paper label the sections to give each person or subject a designated space. I started to label them as so in this order "Angel, Lane, Jude, Aubrey Lane, two for The Mustard Seed, and one for Misc". However, just like I knew having empty sections in my planner would bother me, I knew having one section for each family member would do the same. What if AL needed two and The Mustard Seed needed 3 that day? I'm too OCD for to right something for them in someone else's "space". Then I thought about breaking up the day into time slots, but I write in my planner as I think about it like a to do list for the day. So that wouldn't work either. In true Angel fashion, I just opted to keep that section blank and write them in as I needed. </span></div>
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At the end of each month is a page for notes. All of this comes pretty standard.</div>
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The add on sections are where the fun begins. You can choose from many different options of add ons: notes, meal planning, to do list, address book, financial planner, etc. You can choose how many pages you want in this add on section. And you can even choose how the add ons appear in your planner- either divided up with a few pages in each monthly section or with its on section and tab at the end of the book. I chose todo lists and notes for mine.</div>
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After that come a short little section of dotted paper, a sheet for passwords and usernames (this is blank for me), one sheet of an address book, a page of holidays for the next few years, and a year at glance for the upcoming year. And to top it all off, it ends with a folder for keeping things in your planner as you need them.</div>
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I have used a lot of planners in my life. Each one I try to keep so I can look back and remember what was going on in my life during certain times. This planner is large (there are smaller options from the same company), but that's what I preferred to keep up with all aspects of my life in one place. I don't have a separate planner for my littles or my work.</div>
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I have seen a lot of questions asking for planner recommendations over the past couple months, so I knew I had to share this treasure of a planner I found. Hope this was helpful to anyone inquiring! Have a great day!</div>
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**This post is not sponsored by Plum Paper or anyone else. (I'm not that cool, LOL). This is just me sharing a product I love and find very useful!</div>
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<br />The Mustard Seedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14103251317872770464noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8936534027032097902.post-44543879847765230982017-09-25T07:03:00.003-05:002017-09-26T06:13:28.485-05:00Trusting Without Borders // Part 5<span style="font-size: large;">Well hey y'all! It's been a long time since I posted when I last blogged about the grief I experience (present tense, y'all- it's definitely something you learn to live with and not an event in time) over the sudden and unexpected loss of my mom earlier this year. And it's been even longer since I've opened up about our fertility struggles with the Trusting Without Borders series. The reception of that series was astounding! I received so many comments and messages from people that either related on so many levels or just wanted to encourage and pray for us... I felt the love!! </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Well where are we now on our fertility journey? Have we given up? Are we still "trying"? Have our prayers been answered? Has God completely redirected our hearts and paths?? </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Well let me go ahead and give you a spoiler alert... this is NOT a pregnancy announcement post. I know that is so disappointing to those of you rooting and praying for us, but that's exactly why I feel the need to give a little update.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">So a lot has happened in the last year of our lives (to say the least). After I last blogged the last post in this series (actually just two days after) we had a flood, moved four times in four months, said goodbye to my mama, broke my hand that resulted in surgery and pins and months of therapy, and just a busy life in general. So to keep things in order, let me start right where we left off. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">In September, after the chaos of the flood started calming down and children went back to school, we returned to the doctor and more blood work was ordered. To my complete and udder shock, my progesterone levels came back normal! We were advised that no further fertility treatment was needed at that time, and to call them back if we weren't pregnant in 6 months. Well okay... Let's make a baby already.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The next 6 months did not provide the ideal circumstances for expanding our family. So month 7 rolled around without the first positive pregnancy test, and back to the doctor I went. This time the blood work was frustrating. My progesterone results were too low for optimal fertility but not low enough to declare infertility. So other tests were set up the next week. And wouldn't you know it, I broke my hand that weekend and surgery was scheduled the same day as the fertility tests. So we had to put it off yet another month. The next month we repeated blood work and my levels were the lowest they had ever been... So back down the Clomid path we went. Only this time, my fear returned stronger than ever. All I could think about was what if I was ruining Jude and Aubrey Lane's lives by potentially conceiving another baby with chromosome abnormalities. I was back to 3 years earlier crying hysterically and full of fear!! After talking it over with Lane, my mother in law, and two best friends- they each reminded me that God's plans were good and just for me; t</span><span style="font-size: large;">hat I needed to decide once and for all to completely trust and move forward. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Then in complete randomness, I was texting back in forth with a sweet sister who served on the Prayer Team with me the last time I served at a Discovery Weekend. Not only had this sweet sister in Christ faced secondary infertility, but this special lady really walks with the Lord. I mean when this sweet sister shares what the Lord has shown her, you listen and you listen good. Anyway, I shared with her my fertility frustrations and fears, and she told me she prayed that I wouldn't look to the left or the right but keep my eyes on the Lord. Y'ALL!! Do y'all remember that from <a href="http://themustardseedfamily.blogspot.com/2016/08/trusting-without-borders-part-four.html" target="_blank">here</a>?? I just wept. It was a bold reminder that God still sees me and has good plans for me!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">When my trigger shot arrived, I had one last hard cry that morning, said lots of prayers, and drove to my sweet nurse friend's house so she could give me the injection!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">NO TURNING BACK! </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">We were going to COMPLETELY trust God and we were going to MAKE a baby!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Then it didn't work.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">No worries. We shall try again next month.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">And it didn't work again.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">That's okay! July will be our MONTH!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">And it wasn't.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Are you seeing the trend here???</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">So after a few failed months, more tests had to be done. More labs. More sticks. More doctors. More money. Lots more money.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Nothing (thank goodness) came back wrong or worrisome. But why aren't we conceiving? Our doctor believes that my balanced translocation is rearing its ugly head; that we are conceiving but the babies aren't implanting or "sticking" because they are genetically compromised. So nothing to do but just keep trying.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">This is where I started getting antsy. I have cried and prayed,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"Lord, is this not your will for me? Am I beating on a door you have closed and locked, and I just refuse to accept it?"</span></div>
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This started consuming my every waking thought... Why isn't the Lord blessing us with a baby? I thought I heard Him so clear?? If I didn't, have I ever really heard Him?? </div>
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Thank GOODNESS, the Lord puts Godly people in my path to remind me of the Truths and get me out of my own head. My mother in law reminded me that there was nothing shameful about wanting another baby. And my close friend who has faced unfathomable tragedy shared that she thought God was lining things up to build a great testimony.... they have a wonderful testimony of faith and endurance, but it isn't the testimony she thought God was working out for her. And then remembering a few years ago that our Sunday School teacher/ family doctor asked me if I believed I was in the Will of God, and when I answered yes, he told me that I would make the right decision...</div>
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All of this weighed heavily on my mind and heart. As I sat on the examination table of yet another doctor waiting for yet another fertility test, I prayed heavily for God to keep directing me on the right path and to show me if I was on the wrong one. When the reproductive endocrinologist came in, it was a man I had never met and doesn't know "my story", but for some reason he asked. He asked how long we had been trying and if we already had kids. I got to share that we have a 6 year old and an almost 10 year old. He remarked that's quite a spread and asked if we had trouble conceiving either of those. To his shock, I answered not a bit! Our first son has special needs and was very medically fragile his first few years of life, so we were hesitant moving forward. Then he asked the million dollar question- you're not hesitant anymore? I didn't have to think about my response. <i>Absolutely not! Our daughter is such a joy. Her birth and being has brought so much healing and restoration to our hearts. And despite his needs, our son is our little sunshine. Our lives would be shallow and empty without him. He has taught us so much about God!</i></div>
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In that moment I was reminded that there IS PURPOSE IN THE JOURNEY!! Maybe I walked down this path for such a time as this. That encounter. This blog. The broken heart reading it.</div>
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So when you are seeking the Lord and praying desperately over that unanswered prayer, when is the time to just give up? The answer is NEVER! If you pray for someone to come to the Lord, do you give up if it doesn't happen after one prayer? No! If you are seeking the Lord and walking with Him, then you are in his Will and remember He's the one that gives you the desires of your heart. You NEVER GIVE UP!!</div>
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To the single Christian entering her 30's alone, keep pressing in. To the couple facing yet another negative pregnancy test, keep trying. To the person still praying over the health of a sick or dying loved one, keep the faith. To the parent still praying over their child's salvation, KEEP PRAYING!! God wants us to pray fervently and expectantly. He says so in His Word!</div>
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Am I saying that eventually God will say yes to all the things you cover in petition every night? I wish I could, but I don't know what's best for you... or me, but God sure does! </div>
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What I am saying is that if I have learned anything in this life, it's that God works and is glorified just as much, if not more, in the journey, not just the destination!! As a wife that has seen way too many negative pregnancy tests, a mother who faces the reality that it is likely I will outlive my son, and a daughter who lost her mother to cancer, I can still say I am on this road for His glory. YOU ARE ON THIS ROAD FOR HIS GLORY!! Your testimony may not look like what you thought it would, but it will still be a testimony of God's goodness and faithfulness.<br />
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I don't know if God is going to bless us with another baby. I'm not sure I'm on this path for that exact end result. However, realizing that there is purpose in this pain and journey does encourage me to keep pressing in because there just might be another doctor who needs to see and hear what God has done and is doing. There just might be another woman in the waiting room that needs someone to talk to. And there just might be one reader who needed the encouragement to just keep pressing forward. <br />
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So tonight when you lift up that unanswered prayer yet again, I will pray that the Lord sends you a sweet reminder of why you're still on this journey and your zeal be revived. That you continue to trust Him without borders.<br />
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</span><span style="font-size: large;"></span>The Mustard Seedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14103251317872770464noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8936534027032097902.post-70987602524397265612017-03-08T15:24:00.001-06:002017-03-08T15:42:23.801-06:00I need to tell you...<div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">It has been seven weeks since I last spoke to my mom. Since I last held her hand. Seven of the longest most painful weeks I think I have ever endured. And next week will be eight weeks. This isn't going away anytime soon....</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> You've seen me at the grocery store, liked pictures of my cute kids on social media, waved to me at carpool in the mornings, and made small talk with me in the hallways of church. You probably think "she didn't bring it up- maybe she's doing okay."</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Well I need to tell you I'm not bringing it up because I'm not doing okay. I'm not constantly talking about my mom because talking about her passing makes it too real for me. I need to tell you that when I look alright at the grocery store it's because I like to pretend she's gone on vacation or at work. I'm still fresh in my grief and in denial. I still can't believe that's she gone and if I don't let myself dwell on it too long, it's easy to pretend just long enough (sometimes) to be in public without having a breakdown. But even when I'm pretending, reality is still heavy on my shoulders. I need to tell you that I'm always thinking about her. I need to tell you that I hate-HATE- talking about her in past tense! Writing about her in past tense is tearing me up.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I need to tell you that every time I get in my car, I instinctively pick up the phone to call her, and have even done so a couple of times before I caught myself. Her number is disconnected now. Somehow that makes it hurt worse. To know that I'll never again in my life see that number on my phone along with a picture of her holding my baby, her grandchild... that's when I can't pretend at that point. I need to tell you that every time I get in my car, I'm ruined. Every morning. After I drop my babies off at school, the ride home is lonely and long, and it seems wrong to fill that time, her time, with something else. I'm too young to be without my mama, and that doesn't matter because I'm without her anyway.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I need to tell you that it kills me that my children won't have her as they grow up. Jude won't have all that sweet snuggle time in her recliner that he used to get when we visited or those sweet little gifts of bubbles that she picked up for him just because. Aubrey Lane won't get those daily phone calls to tell her Maw Maw Katie what she did at school that day or receive little packages of trinkets in the mail that Maw Maw always thought to send. I need to tell you that my mom was so proud of Jude, and that her only granddaughter was pure joy for her.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I need to tell you how much she loved Lane. Like a son she never had. She was always very proud to call him her son in law. I think when we found each other, she took a deep breath of relief because she knew Lane would be a great husband to her daughter and father to her grandchildren. A good man. A rare find. I need to tell you that I never called my mom and talked bad about my husband. Not because we have this wonderful perfect marriage, but because she knew he is good man and I didn't want to let hot emotions over any arguments change her view of him. But I don't think it would have. She loved him so much.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I need to tell you that my mom and I didn't always get along. What mom and daughter does? But we always worked it out. In fact, we got to work out a lot of stuff about a month before we found out she was sick. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I need to tell you what kind of person my mom was. She was a great person and a better mom. When I was pregnant with Jude, it was the first time she couldn't fix something hard and painful for me. And it killed her. She tried everything she could and the fact that we both knew she couldn't put a little distance between us. It was something that I had to do with just God. And as I grew more independent in myself, I benched her and she just got to watch. Years later she would brag on how well I take care of my children and family. She told me it didn't hurt her to watch; that it was her great accomplishment to raise such a strong woman. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I need to tell you that when Jude was born, she was so proud of him. It was an honor to her to be Jude's grandmother. Then a couple months later when Jude was very sick and not expected to live but a few more days, we were in the NICU and visitors could only come a couple at a time and only during specific times. My mom slept in her car in the parking lot around the clock just so she could be completely available to me whenever I would need her.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I need to tell you that THAT is the kind of person my mom always was for her daughters, family, or ANYONE who needed her. My mom was the kind of person that you could call in the middle of the night because you were sick and she would get up and come take you to the doctor no matter what she had going in her life. If you needed my mom, she was there. No distance too great, no time too inconvenient. She was there if you called her. Who she was in our family and her community was overwhelmingly edified at her memorial as I stood for hours and greeted so many people who loved my mama so much.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: large;">I need to tell you that my mom LOVED her only granddaughter. She could not deny Aubrey Lane of anything. My mom, not normally an emotional woman, cried the day she was born. And from that day, that little girl was the sun in my mom's sky. It may be the most painful aspect of losing her- knowing that Aubrey Lane's number one fan won't be there to watch her grow up. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I need to tell you that my mom loved this stupid blog. She was so proud of me. She thought I was a great writer and shared every post with pride. She would read it over and over. She would complain if I posted without telling her. She thought I was something special. Sometimes I feel like losing her equates to losing everything I am in this world. Not being able to see myself through her eyes is terrifying.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I need to tell you that my mom was the most gullible and the smartest person I knew. She was funny and believed any magazine or facebook headline out there. BUT she was soooo smart. If I had any question, I would pick up the phone and she had the answer. Especially when it came to business matters. She helped with tax questions, legal notary questions, anything you could think of. But she was always Katie. She was the same person everywhere she went and never was too good to talk to anyone.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I need to tell you that my mom was very old fashioned, simple, and sentimental. She kept things- baby things, my first casts, locks of hair, quilts and blankets relatives made, birthday cards, little trinkets from places, she kept it all. But she wasn't an emotional woman. She was a matter of fact kind of person. I need to tell you I get so much of that from her. She didn't let life get her down. Ever. She pulled up her boot straps and kept marching. When the oncologist came in that day at Tulane and confirmed my mom's advanced cancer with its grim prognosis, I think he was waiting for some type of emotional outburst, but he wasn't going to get it; not in that room. We just looked at him and said "what do we need to do." That's the kind of person my mom was. And that's another reason I don't constantly post and share my grief with the public and social media. It was not; it is not our fashion to do so. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I need to tell you that my mom was determined to beat cancer, despite the three years she was given. She told me she wasn't ready to go, but if God decided that it was her time, she said "It is well with my soul." </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I need to tell you that I feel deprived- that I should still have 3 more years with my mom. I need to tell you that her last month of life, we all came together and made the most out of our time together. I need to tell you that I wasn't ready to say goodbye to my mom. But I need to tell you that in the Book of Job, the Bible says a man's days are numbered and we won't be given a minute longer. I need to tell you that I believe in the scriptures, and that my mom's heart was going to stop on January 17th no matter where she was and what her diagnosis was. And so I need to tell you that my mom's cancer diagnosis was a gift. How many people get a month to put a closing chapter on their lives? But we did. And even then, what I wouldn't give for ten more minutes to hold her hand. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">And I need to tell you that I'm sad, but I'm not mad at God. And that I pray everyday that one day I can look back and say "It is well with my soul."</span></div>
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</span>The Mustard Seedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14103251317872770464noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8936534027032097902.post-40209006416894020422017-01-13T13:50:00.000-06:002017-01-13T17:06:56.457-06:00First Christmas in the Louisiana Farmhouse<span style="font-size: large;">Well I know it's late for a Christmas post, but better late than never right?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Ok... so I had all of these amazing plans for Christmas in our new house. (You remember the post, right?) Actually I had been dreaming of Christmas in the new house for years. But the reality was, we had just moved in the day before Thanksgiving so between unpacking, a busy busy work schedule, and an even busier kiddo itinerary there wasn't a bit of time left to decorate elaborately for the holiday. And realistically, we didn't have living room furniture, a dining table, a washer and dryer, or even a refrigerator until just a little over a week before Christmas. So I felt happy just to have those things, let along décor.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">To make decorating for Christmas even more of a challenge, (Y'ALL!!) come December most stores were already wiped clean of holiday decorations. Seriously!! I would walk up and down the same isle ten times, looking behind displays and boxes for some type of decoration that went with the vision I had. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Well despite the Christmas décor despair, I did manage to find a few odd and ends and pulled together a pretty backdrop for my family's Christmas festivities. The Christmas tree was not overly decorated, but just as pretty as any tree we have ever had. I couldn't find a tree skirt that went just right with the look I wanted. Funds were a little tight (just built a house, ya know), my burlap stash was lost in the flood, and like I said- shelves were pretty bare in the Christmas section. As I was leaving Home Depot with our tree, I walked past the Christmas section and picked up a $3 buffalo plaid fleece blanket. It was perfect!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I found 2 spools of flannel ribbon at HomeGoods- perfect for the tree. And a sweet friend, found two more spools at TJ Maxx. I grabbed a few small boxwood wreaths from Joann's and used the ribbon and wreaths to bring a little Christmas into the kitchen. Other than that I used pops of red with dish towels and a utensil crock to bring in a little more cheer. I'll probably keep them out through Valentine's Day. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">A funny story about the Christmas tree: We usually cut down our tree at the local farm the weekend after Thanksgiving. Well Lane was working, and we couldn't find time to get to the farm. And just like the Christmas decorations, most Home Depots, Lowe's, and other tree lots had pretty slim pickings. Finally we found a Home Depot with a good selection of trees. We found an 8 foot "promo" tree with the pretties shape, no holes, and for only $25- another win. Well once we got home and I started fluffing the tree and putting lights on it, I pulled out a branch. Weird. As I kept putting lights, I kept pulling out branches revealing holes in the tree. It didn't take us long to realize that the good price on that "promo" tree was due to the fact that the tree had plenty of holes that was filled with clippings from other trees. We were laughing so hard at the whole thing. By the time I had finished all the lights, the tree was full of holes, we had a pile of branches, and Lane and I were in tears from laughing so hard at the perfect tree we thought we had found. Believe it or not, it was still a pretty tree. Our own Charlie Brown tree.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The good thing to come from the Charlie Brown tree, was that I had plenty of clippings to decorate the rest of the house. I tied a few sprigs onto serving dishes with baker's twine, put some into candle lanterns, and the rest into my dining room lanterns. We didn't have a dining table at that time, but the dining room was decorated for Christmas nonetheless.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">All the simple décor was just so pretty, but what was even more special was all the memories we got to make in our new home with each other. We spent a great deal of time drinking hot chocolate (and lemonade) by the fireplace, made gingerbread houses, homemade cinnamon rolls, and other sweet treats together in the kitchen, and hosted multiple gatherings with sweet friends and family. I planned a Christmas book advent for my littles this year. Jude and Aubrey Lane loved it and excitedly begged to open the book each night. There was no going to bed until they had their Christmas book. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Christmas Day was the sweetest. My family was coming over that day so I was up early in the kitchen. I heard AL stir, so I ran to the hall so I could see her reaction without her knowing it. After she realized "Santa had come", she ran down the hall and exclaimed "I did not ask Santa for a teepee, but he just knowed I wanted one!" She was just as grateful as last year. Jude was more attentive to the festivities than ever. He loved unwrapping presents and demanded that his toys be released from their packaging immediately. He was so funny. Then my family came in and I fed them dinner on a fold out table in our dining room (our table didn't arrive until the 27th) and everyone had a great time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Looking back on the season, I'm quite happy with the simple décor- it was all about the memories this year, and there were plenty of sweet ones made.</span><br />
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<br />The Mustard Seedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14103251317872770464noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8936534027032097902.post-69763232946065488952016-11-24T00:34:00.000-06:002016-11-24T00:45:31.248-06:00Prepping the Farmhouse for Christmas<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Since yesterday I did a little intro to the farmhouse, I thought I would keep the blogging pace and head straight into the next phase of the new home: decorating.<br /><br /> I have the very welcomed, but very daunting task of not only decorating a new home, but getting it ready for the Christmas season as well. I don't want to skip Christmas just because we are busy getting settled; I'll be working double time to make sure the house feels like Christmas throughout every room. Since the home is new for not only me, but my littles as well, I want to make sure the home is super cozy and welcoming for them this year. In doing so, it will be welcome for other family and friends as well . Oh, I just can’t wait to invite some friends over for some of my shrimp and corn chowder!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Photo Source: By Stephanie Lynn</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br />Since we literally just moved in the farmhouse, I have a completely blank canvas to work with. It’s a little overwhelming, but I actually have a good vision of what I would love to see. I painted the entire house white not only because I LOVE that color, but it keeps a fresh "canvas" for me to transition into different seasons and holidays. I can add pops of red and black this season without worrying if it clashes with wall or cabinet color. And pops of red and black is just what I envision for this Christmas season.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Photo Source: Little Laura Lou Crafts on Etsy</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">When I look around my living room, I keep envisioning a tree in the front corner to shine out both windows and draped in buffalo check with a cozy blanket or fir tree skirt waiting to hold those sweet little presents. When we worked on the house plans, I made sure that there was a special spot for the Christmas tree, and outlets to accommodate. That tree will be here sometime next week. Now I only have to decide if I want to do traditional red and black buffalo check or hunt down some black and white. Both are equally beautiful so either is a win!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /><br />Over on the mantle, I can see beautiful garlands of cypress greenery and lots of white candles or white lights placed along it. I also made sure there was an outlet hidden around the side of the mantle with Christmas lights in mind. Then of course stocking holders amongst the garlands, and everyone’s stocking waiting to be stuffed with goodies.<br /><br /> Then on the sofa, I can see a mix of fur and buffalo check pillows welcoming visits and long talks with sweet friends, or nights cozying up with my little ones watching a Christmas movie. And a red plaid blanket draped over the sofa waiting for us.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Photo Source: Four Generations One Roof</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /><br />Speaking of sofas, I’ll let y’all in on a little secret: I have not bought any new furniture for the house. Yep! You read right. We currently don’t have any living room or dining room furniture. And I’m kinda having commitment issues. You see we had a sectional in the previous house, but I thought that having just a slipcovered sofa and some nice sitting chairs would be prettier in our new home and would allow me to rearrange seating as needed. However, I have realized that my family is used to sitting together, and regular sofas aren’t as accommodating as sectionals. Plus, we built this house with the full intentions of opening the doors to fellowship with our family and friends. Sectionals offer much more seating. The drawback: no easy rearranging and the elimination of pretty chairs. So the conundrum: what to get? I want pretty and comfy!<br /><br /> I think we may actually be leaning towards sectional because it’s what we’re used to and it’s what we like. In my quest for a sectional that was pretty too, I have found some pretty ones from Arhaus. (You can see all their pretty sectionals which are on sale by clicking <a href="http://www.arhaus.com/furniture/living-room-furniture/sectional-sofas/" target="_blank">here</a>.) And they have a white slipcovered one as well. I have been dreaming of a white slipcovered sofa forever, so maybe I’ll have to add a few pieces from Arhaus onto my Christmas wish list.</span></div>
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Photo Source: Arhaus</div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br />As for the dining, my heart is set on a salvaged wood dining table with a matching bench on the side and slipcovered end chairs. (Got to have somewhere to sit when I make that shrimp and corn chowder.) I actually came across Arhaus when I was searching for the perfect table. They have some beautiful tables that are worth checking out as well.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Photo Source: Glitter Guide</span></span></div>
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Photo Source: Better Homes and Gardens</div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I haven't forgotten the rest of the house, I’d love to add touches of Christmas to every room. Some pops of red in my white kitchen and a pretty wreath on the mantle hood. In the dining room, I would love to add some greenery to the lanterns. And just keep going with touches of red, or black buffalo check all throughout the house. I even plan on putting some cozy red buffalo check flannel sheets on the beds. And hopefully by mid next week, I’ll have been able to bring all these visions to life.<br /><br /> How are y’all planning on prepping your home for the sweetest season of all? Let me know! I’d love to see your homes adorned in all their Christmas goodness.</span>The Mustard Seedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14103251317872770464noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8936534027032097902.post-71498359085644114862016-11-22T14:42:00.001-06:002016-11-22T14:42:11.647-06:00A Little Louisiana Farmhouse Intro<span style="font-size: large;">Louisiana Farmhouse</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I had imagined in years past, that I would blog our entire building process in depth. In fact, I couldn't wait to start blogging about it, but honestly there were many, many nights that the last thing I wanted to think or write about was the new house. Building a custom home is lots of hard work and problem solving. Regardless, we feel incredibly blessed to have been able to build this home and it's surreal to finally be moving in this week. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Even though I wasn't very good at blogging the build, I did keep a pretty good account for things on my @louisianafarmhouse Instagram feed. And from there I have received through comments and direct messages lots and lots of questions about the home. So I figured I would take some time and answer a few of the most asked questions. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I get asked the most questions regarding floor plans, so let's start there:</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">When Lane and I first started dreaming of building our own home over four years ago, we started just driving around our favorite neighborhoods. We quickly realized that our style was not the common taste in our Louisiana area. Those French Acadian homes were gorgeous, but instead we were drawn to garden homes and off the ground farmhouses. So I started combing Southern Living house plans. We even went to South Carolina one summer to see some of our favorite homes in real life. We found several plans that we loved, but none actually worked for our family. After talking with one architect, we quickly realized that it would cost more to modify a house plan than it would to just have custom plans drawn. So we met with a local firm and brought with us the elements that we loved: shed dormers, gabled roof lines, and porches. After 10 long months, we had the plans to our dream home. And since a Carolina coastal cottage in the middle of a Louisiana cow pasture didn't quite make sense, farmhouse it is. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">**Due to legal and personal reasons, we cannot share our floor plans. Thanks for understanding. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Next up, floors:</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">We used wide planked antique dirty top pine for our floors downstairs. We installed them across a subfloor made of 1x4s on 10 inch centers to give them the feel and sound they would have if the house was off the ground. We buffed them and applied four coats of floor polyurethane in satin. No stain. The polyurethane alone brought out that rich dark color of the antique pine which contrasted with our all white walls very well. They are already scarred with nail holes and scratches from their previous location so they are the perfect bit of rustic for our farmhouse. And doing life on them will be easy because scratches will just add to the charm. When we got to the upstairs floors, our budget was too tight to do the same floor upstairs. Due to allergy and eczema, we knew we didn't want carpet, but the cost of laminate and installation seemed high to me. If I picked a laminate I loved, it was about the same as wood floors. My friend Beth suggested painted plywood floors and after some research we went for it. We cut birch plywood into strips and then painted them the same color white as the rest of the house with the exception of Aubrey Lane's room which we painted light pink. It's not a permanent floor, but we saved a ton of money and it will last a handful of years. And we love it!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">And counters:</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Against all advice and recommendations, we chose honed White Carrara marble for counters. Yes, they scratch, stain, and etch, but I feel like that's part of the beauty of them. We could have gone with a Quartz for more durability, but the cost was nearly double. In my opinion, the beauty of the marble is unmatched, and beauty is worth a little babying and the scratches are part of the patina. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I have plenty other questions to answer regarding design. Design was a tricky part of the process for me. I love so many styles, but didn't feel that I fit into one category. And honestly, I didn't want to. But that made design challenging. I didn't want a completely shabby, Scandinavian, eclectic, or coastal styled home. Quickly realizing that there are no such things as design "rules", I stopped stressing about fitting into one category. Instead I concentrated on things I loved: polished chrome, matte black, exposed brick, and white paint. I wanted to create a home that could be "dressed up" and feel elegant for gatherings, but comfortable and cozy for our family. Once I concentrated on fixtures and colors that I liked instead of trying to conform to one style, the process got easier. And I would encourage anyone else building or decorating to do the same. Let Pinterest and Houzz inspire you, not conform you. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #454545; font-family: "uictfonttextstylebody"; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">If y'all have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask. I reached out to even strangers for advice sometimes, and would be glad to pass along all the help I received. </span></span></div>
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The Mustard Seedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14103251317872770464noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8936534027032097902.post-78825674088759069292016-09-14T12:58:00.002-05:002016-09-14T13:45:37.960-05:00Oh, Kindergarten...<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Life post flood has been pretty chaotic... Moving from our home to our parents' home back to our home, church programs postponed, schools closed "until further notice"... all made it impossible to obtain any regular routine or sense of control. If anything, this flood has made us ALL realize that we really have no control in any situation. Properties bought in NO FLOOD zones, houses built on hills off the ground, well made and thought through plans for the last half of 2016 and the new school year... it was ALL an illusion... It hit hard for everyone! No one soul remained untouched or unaffected by the events that unfolded in our community mid August. Not even our sweet babies. I personally threw away soggy notebooks and new school supplies, watched my little niece process the fact that she was now homeless, witnessed my friends' sweet kiddos recognize their belongings in the debris piles on the roadside, even consoled my own daughter as she sobbed while we burned all her flooded books and tossed moldy Cabbage Patch Dolls. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Y'all, it was hard and it will be hard for a while.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">But last week the clouds parted, and we got a little bit of our normal back when our community schools resumed classes. We had only been to school ONE WHOLE day when the rains started, so it was literally the first day of school, take two.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Unfortunately BOTH Jude and Aubrey Lane's schools received significant flood damage. So when school resumed last week they were at new temporary locations. But, hey- we'll take it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Jude is pretty easy going and went back to a school he used to attend so re-entry was a breeze. It was Aubrey Lane I was a little bit worried about. Not only was she going to a new school, but she's in kindergarten. She had only been to school ONE DAY so she didn't really have time to make any friends or get a feel for school itself. And she wasn't very interested in going back. But I tell you what, kindergarten has been FUN!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">First, I just ADORE her teacher and the staff at the entire school. When we pull into carpool in the morning, they are there and ready for their babies. If there are tears, and there have been, the carpool teacher will call Aubrey Lane's teacher to the car, and she is so tender and encouraging to her. They all are like that with their students. If a bow has been forgotten, and it has been, the teachers are so quick to help us find it like it was their own daughter or granddaughter's bow they are looking for. It really does feel like a big family.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Aubrey is learning so much! And I can see that she is being pushed at just the right pace. Her teacher has been teaching for FORTY-TWO YEARS so she knows children so well. They have so many extras to make sure the students are getting the most of this season in life- there are so many fun events and days like Spirit Day where kiddos get to wear spirit shirts and bitty cheerleader uniforms. It really feels picture perfect. My only one regret is that we didn't start there earlier!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Over the weekend, Saturday to be exact, we celebrated the return of another normal routine- dance class! We went to Open House where there was face painting, photo props, and of course AL's sweet teachers. Other dance companies had sent tons of dance shoes, dance wear, and even costumes to help out the flood victims. It was awesome to see.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">On the way to the Open House, I don't know what came over me, but after realizing that Aubrey Lane was now in kindergarten and did not know how to tie her shoes, I decided to give her first lesson. I figured this was something that would take 15 minute sessions everyday for the next week or two before she got it. I guess she wanted to prove me wrong, because after only 10 minutes she got it! And now I have a shoe tier...</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The second week of kindergarten came around along with a double ear infection for Aubrey Lane. But no worries, she got to bring Corduroy to the doctor with her. Every kindergartner gets to bring Corduroy home with them to spend the night when they are good, and apparently it's a BIG deal! She was so proud packing him out of the classroom, and she brought him home and had a tea party so he could meet all her other "friends". Oh, kindergarten, you are so fun. Well at least for now. We will have to give another update in a month or two.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Stay tuned for Jude's second grade take two post.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>The Mustard Seedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14103251317872770464noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8936534027032097902.post-37659293453296934982016-08-11T21:44:00.001-05:002016-08-11T21:45:18.293-05:00Happy First Day of School<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Wow! It's so hard to believe that I'm writing this post, but today was the first day of school for both of my sweet babies. Jude started Second Grade again, and Aubrey Lane started Kindergarten. And YES, I cried. I've had a baby at home with me for 9 years, and now all of a sudden I don't. Of course it was and will be hard for me to adjust to this season of life.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Since blogging is my virtual scrapbook, I want to remember what each of my sweet babies is like at this age.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><u>Jude</u></b></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Jude, you are eight years old and about to start second grade for the second time. Your daddy and I made that decision last year to hold you back one more year in elementary school with your amazing teacher and precious paraprofessionals. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">We decided on this not because you weren't doing well, quite the opposite. You have THRIVED the past 2 years at this school with this same team of educators. You have learned to walk, started enjoy working hard at school work, and have maintained an A/B Honor Roll. We are soooo proud of you! We knew that staying in this same environment for an extra year would better prepare you physically and mentally for Intermediate School. A couple of days ago when we attended open house at your school, the minute we pulled into the neighborhood, you squealed and clapped with excitement. Then we followed you down the hallways as you lead us right to your classroom. You remembered where you needed to go and knew exactly who would be waiting behind the door for you when you arrived; a group of the sweetest ladies who missed you and are ready to love on you. I think they were emotionally thankful (almost as much as I am) to see you return.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Jude, at this age you are walking.... Rarely do children learn to walk this late in life. If they haven't acquired the skill by a certain age, it is unlikely children ever walk. However, you are in the business of defying odds, sweet boy. I'm sure now more than ever you have a lot of tricks up your sleeve we have yet to see.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Your personality is still super funny. You love to giggle at your little sister when she whines and cries, and you race in front of me to pull her hair when we are all walking together. You have fully assumed the role of the antagonizing big brother, and you love it. Her whelps of frustration with you are music to your ears. You can't get enough and don't mind getting in trouble for your reward. However, I have witnessed some tender moments between the two of you. You like to snuggle with Aubrey Lane and love to let her play with your curly hair.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">You still don't like to eat (praying that's our next big hurdle to conquer), and you detest your glasses and hearing aids. I don't even bother that much anymore with them because you respond to simple commands and I have yet to notice you struggle to see anything... especially your sister's hair to pull out of the corner of your eye. I still try to make you wear them during activity times, but these days I'm all about quality of life and picking up and replacing glasses and hearing aids off the floor 274 times an hour is not my idea of a good life of quality for either of us.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">You love to be read to and you love music. Nothing brings more joy to your face than when you see someone open up a book to read to you. And when we get in situations that make you feel a little antsy like restaurants or crowded places, headphones and nursery rhymes make you cool and calm. And you LOVE LOVE LOVE to watch baseball games on television. So much that your grandparents have saved games on their DVR for you. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">You can't answer the question, but I bet you would want to be a baseball player when you grow up.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Jude, you are the best snuggler and you still let me rock and hold you. And you give hugs and kisses! When I pick you up, you wrap your arms around me and squeeze me so tight and press your face to my cheek as hard as you can. It's kinda painful because you are sooo strong but my heart explodes every time you do it.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">You are soooo social. You give high fives and grins to everyone. BUT, you are a grudge holder. If I fuss at you for something, you are mad at me for the WHOLE DAY! I kind of find pleasure in that fact because it's another concept you understand. We find out new things about your awareness and cognition everyday lately and it's so exciting to watch you thrive.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">This morning when we dropped you off, you were thrilled to be at school. And when we picked you up, your sweet para stood in the rain to hug you one last time and tell you she loved you. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><u>Aubrey Lane</u></b></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Oh Aubrey girl, you are five going to kindergarten and just a handful. A good handful that I'm thankful for. We enrolled you in a private faith based academy and I just have a confidence that you are going to bloom there. We have already met with your teacher and I want to go to kindergarten with you because it sounds soooo fun. I can't wait to see all the stuff you will make and learn this year.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Aubrey Lane, you are super tiny, 11th percentile in weight and 14th in height (finding uniforms to fit was quite the job), but because Jude is tiny too, you have almost caught up with him in size and I get asked if y'all are twins all the time. Despite your size, you are a pretty good eater with a huge list of foods you willingly eat. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">At this stage in life, you are sooo funny. You always have been though. When you tell us an idea you have, you ask if it was a "good apple" because your daddy often ask you "how do you like them apples" and you interpreted apples as ideas. And you tell us "let's blow up this popsicle stand" when we leave places. You have a great imagination and you always want to "pretend" to do something. I'm amazed at the stuff you come up with. And you sing constantly... like always... like ALL DAY! But you know what, it's so enjoyable because you have the prettiest little voice and you actually sing very well for your age. Lane, who you still call Daddy Punkin, and I will ride in silence in the car just to hear you sing along with the radio. You still LOVE to dance and you say you want to be a gymnast when you grow up, but you have never taken one gymnastics class in your life. That doesn't matter to you; you have been in love with the sport since we took you to the LSU gymnastics meet earlier this year.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Aubrey Lane, your personality is so impressive. We often call you a miniature 30 year old because the way you act and talk, especially when you talk with your hands. You take a minute to warm up to new places and ideas, but once you come out of your shell, there is no putting you back in it. You take charge and go from there. I was so worried when I dropped you off today that you might clam up for the first couple of days and not like school from the stress of that action, but before I left the school this morning, you had called on the teacher twice with questions about your desk work. I felt much better leaving you after that.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Dropping you off this morning was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I have had you or Jude as a steady day date for the past nine years. I'm going to miss you terribly. But you seemed to be doing fine when I left and I stayed strong to not cry a tear in front of you then LOST IT in the parking lot. When we picked you up this afternoon you had already made friends that were jumping out of line to hug you bye. And when we asked you how your first day of kindergarten was, you answered "PERFECT!"</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Happy first day of school, little ones.</span></div>
The Mustard Seedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14103251317872770464noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8936534027032097902.post-58092335985443055142016-08-10T10:07:00.000-05:002016-08-10T14:18:05.823-05:00Trusting Without Borders // Part 4<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So I know I've kept you waiting long enough on the wrap up of this little series; actually, I hate to call it a "wrap up" because I feel like I will never ever be quite finished with dealing with all of this.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Ok. So I started fertility treatment, and this was last August, by the way. So into my first round, I constantly walked in prayer. I prayed so hard for a healthy baby, but honestly, I prayed harder for God to just keep guiding me in the right direction. I knew it was His desire to see me step out in faith and try for a sweet baby because He made it sooooo clear in His word. But STILL... still I would get overwhelmed by numbers, probabilities, and past experience. I'm in a couple of support groups for families affected by balanced translocation. And even though it has been a great source of information for me, I could feel myself getting lost in everyone's personal experience. Reading about someone who had 3 healthy children would leave me so encouraged one day. However, the next day I would read about how someone's test results revealed the baby they were carrying was unbalanced, and it would leave me in gut wrenching fear and heartache for them and increased worry for myself. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">In those moments of incredible distress, I would turn to God and beg Him for assurance that it would be okay. In my quiet time one day, God did speak to my heart and gently reminded me to not look to the left or the right, but keep my eyes straight on Him.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Now I was always taught to hold everything up to God's word to check it's truth and it's value. So anytime I hear from God in that manner, I always like to find the biblical reference of His message. Y'all! Just go google scripture about turning to the right or left...</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">SO MANY REFERENCES! Especially in the Old Testament when travelers are going through a foreign land or wilderness, they are instructed or they promise to stay on the King's highway and not to turn to the right or to the left.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Here I am, in a wilderness, and I need to stay on the King's Highway! I don't need to seek my source of comfort and encouragement from anywhere else. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So once again, I called on the Lord and He showed up in a big way.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Back to fertility treatment... and this is where things will get a little clinical.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The doctor recommended a simple round of Clomid to get things started. So first round started... and so did the doctor appointments and tests. The doctor warned me that the hormone therapy may make me feel crazy and hormonal, but I felt the opposite. I could tell my body was loving what it was getting. I had more energy, I slept better at night, my skin glowed, my hair quit falling out in handfuls, and my overall mood seemed to improve. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">My doctor also decided to help out the therapy by prescribing an injectable trigger drug that will force ovulation when needed. I remember the FedEx packing arriving... It felt soo surreal. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Well first ultrasound to check my response was concerning. I was right. My body loved the treatment, so much that I over responded to it. So much that my doctor decided against the trigger shot and called off that month. We just couldn't run the risk of me conceiving multiple babies, and by multiples, I'm talking 5 to 8... WOW! Blood work later that month confirmed a crazy high progesterone number which did indeed mean multiple ovulations.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The time for the next round finally arrived. And this time, I was instructed to take half a pill of the lowest possible dose. Ultrasound came and my response was a tiny high, but in the normal range so we pushed forward. I had my injection, my progesterone looked good, and into the longest two week wait ever. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I was sure it would work this time...</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">But it didn't... </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I cried for a week. I couldn't understand why it just didn't work. I couldn't understand why God would bring me down this path to not let it work....</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Lane hung me a pretty porch swing in our big oak tree to cheer me up. I sat in that swing with my little girl one day and decided that it was not the right time in our family to pursue more rounds of treatment. She was in a part time prek program and this was my last year to be with her all the time, Jude was learning to walk and would need a lot of help to get there, and the construction of our home was finally starting after more than a year of sitting on plans. I didn't want to be so consumed with fertility treatment and the emotions that came with it that I couldn't feel present in these important moments. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">And I had such a peace.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">A couple of months ago, right in the middle of our DIY floor installation on the new house, I was praying for God to continue to bless our endeavor. I prayed for Him to bless our time and finances to go further than we imagined.... But then I realized how crazy I would feel with a newborn in that moment. I either wouldn't be able to help or someone would have to be watching my new baby for me, and honestly that would break this attachment parenting momma's heart. So once again, I realized God was being practical with His prayer answering skills....</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">In July, I returned for another visit with my doctor. We talked and hope to start more rounds in the fall... Please pray as I'm not sure of our direction yet, but I'm sure He will guide us.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Okay so I know sooooo many of you were hoping for some surprise ending, and OH how I wish that was the case. But it just wasn't His plan for me. And I'm okay with that. I committed a long time ago to love the Lord because of who He is, not because of what He can do for me.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So why so many posts and cliffhangers? </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Well some of the posts were written over a year ago. And each posts was a distinct portion of my life that I feel God showed me something very specific. To trust, to have faith, to honor, to trust some more... </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">And why did I write this? Something in me just knew that writing this would help me, and I have received so many sweet messages from women facing fertility obstacles. It's amazing how many women feel like they need to be hush hush about this particular struggle. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Another reason for writing this is to encourage you to constantly seek God and His plan for you in and out of the wilderness. So many times God was completely transparent on which path He wanted me on. There was no guess work and no questioning how clear His word was during these times. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Stay on the King's Road in life! Keep your eyes on Jesus! There are going to be many situations in which you are given so much advice. Pray for discernment and God's direction, then head that way. Don't let the what's going on to your right or your left distract you from your destination!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Now to the hard and honest part. Not only do I encourage anyone to get in the word and seek God's guidance in their life, but I beg you to be obedient as well. This is hard for me to write, but one of my biggest struggles throughout this process was stepping out in faith and being obedient. So many times the Lord prompted me to step out in faith and I let fear hold me down. Delayed obedience is disobedience... Now I'm not saying that not being able to have a baby is a punishment from God, but it could be a consequence of my disobedience. And if I never get to have another baby, I will always wonder "what if". What if I would have never stalled in fear from the beginning? What if I never wasted time waiting for the genetics counseling and just stepped out in faith? What if I missed my opportunities to have babies without medical intervention and I'm to blame? That's a lot of what ifs; too many!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So I encourage you, please don't stall out in fear! Don't question or doubt God's direction. Confirm it and follow. You might just miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime if you hesitate. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>TRUST HIM WITHOUT BORDERS!!</b></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So where are we now? We are just doing life. It's busy and I am determined to enjoy every minute of it. I tuck my babies in bed and look at the miracle of Jude's thriving life and at the blessing of my sweet Aubrey Lane, and I am happy.</span></div>
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The Mustard Seedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14103251317872770464noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8936534027032097902.post-83104053661284208492016-07-28T00:39:00.001-05:002016-07-28T08:58:36.901-05:00Trusting Without Borders // Part 3<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So there we were, heading straight out into the wilderness to try for a sweet baby. And since we conceived both our first sweet babies quick and easy, we only prayed that God would give us a healthy baby and a joyful pregnancy without fear.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">In the late winter, I was serving on a prayer team for a ladies' ministry and we had been out in the wilderness a few months now. I remember attending the first few meetings with excitement thinking that in a few weeks I would have an exciting pregnancy announcement for my sisters. And what better timing? My pregnancy and baby would get bathed in prayer and all would be wonderful. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">But month after month, I never got to make that sweet announcement. And month after month, frustration started to grow. I remember being in the prayer room during that ministry weekend, and hearing from God that I still didn't fully trust him with my future babies. It was a punch in the gut, but I knew it was true. However, I was walking in a direction towards Him, and I was trusting that He would give me the faith I was lacking. My sweetest friend once encouraged me that I should start walking in the direction I knew was right even if done in fear, and that God would meet me where I was and provide the faith I needed to keep going. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Despite months and months without any sign of pregnancy, I refused to think anything was wrong other than my genetic disposition- I mean my body was telling me that everything was fine. The genetics doctor had warned me that my affected embryos may not even implant and I was sure that was the culprit. It was referred to as genetic infertility. Even so at my annual during the summer, I casually mentioned to my doctor that we had been trying for a while without any results other than a chemical pregnancy in December. Being on the border of advanced maternal age, she decided that it would be best for me to go ahead and do some testing. Thinking that nothing would be wrong and without a worry in the world, I agreed. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">First round of blood work went fine. Nothing to worry about. Nothing looked out of place. Second round was a different story... a nurse called me one day in August to give me my results and inform me that we were genuinely suffering from secondary infertility on top of our genetic infertility. My body had deceived me and had not been doing what it was supposed to be all along, and it wouldn't without the help of fertility drugs. I was DEVASTATED!!! I hated my body for failing me AGAIN and I felt completely out of control! How could this be? Not only did I have to step out in faith to conceive, but now I would have to do it on fertility drugs and run the risk of having twins... twins that could suffer from a genetic abnormality and life threatening medical issues and severe development delays... I wanted to throw up! I think I actually did. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">How could God do this to me? I stepped out in faith! I sought Him on every move! I stayed in the Word! I stayed away from methods that I thought would dishonor Him and my witness! Why didn't He reward all that with a quick healthy pregnancy?! That was the plan, right?!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I remember putting my kiddos favorite cartoon on the television, and then hiding in our closet on the phone with my best friend. All I could do was cry. And all she did was listen, tell me that her heart hurt for me, and remind me that she loved me. And that was the best thing she could do for me. You see God was using my pain and grief to draw me in closer to Him. He was present in my pain. And I encourage you, when you are comforting a friend in the midst of great emotional grief, just be there for them because God is using their pain you are in the presence of holiness so you don't have to say a thing.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Lane came home from work early and decided to take me and the kids to Houston for some home shopping I had been wanting to do and to get away and think. I couldn't decide if fertility drugs were right for us, and I felt back to square one; terrified again. The nurse had given me the option to start fertility treatment that very same day or to take a month or two to think about it. After praying, Lane said that we shouldn't wait; that our circumstances will not have changed in a month and we didn't want to stall out in fear again. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So the nurse called in my prescription, and we picked it up on our way out of town. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">That same best friend and I had been to the Outcry Tour in New Orleans just a week before that. It was an amazing night of worship with Crowder, Lauren Daigle, Kari Jobe, Bethel, and Hillsong. So all the way to Houston, I sang "Oceans" by Hillsong. And I knew God wanted me to trust Him without borders. He wanted me to go where I had no choice but to trust in Him and only Him. It was clear to me that I had to go where I was the most fearful and vulnerable in order to get freedom from this fear and experience His presence like never before. And so I followed and started my first round of fertility treatment that night.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>You call me out upon the waters</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>The great unknown where feet may fail</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>And there I find You in the mystery</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>In oceans deep</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>My faith will stand</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>And I will call upon Your name</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>And keep my eyes above the waves</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>When oceans rise</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>My soul will rest in Your embrace</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>For I am Yours and You are mine</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>Your grace abounds in deepest waters</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>Your sovereign hand</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>Will be my guide</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>Where my feet may fail and fear surrounds me</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>You've never failed and You won't start now</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>So I will call upon Your name</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>And keep my eyes above the waves</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>When oceans rise</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>My soul will rest in Your embrace</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>For I am Yours and You are mine</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>Let me walk upon the waters</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>Wherever you would call me</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>And my faith will be made stronger</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>In the presence of my Savior.</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">You can hear the song and see the video <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy9nwe9_xzw" target="_blank">here</a>.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">to be continued...</span></div>
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The Mustard Seedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14103251317872770464noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8936534027032097902.post-81243521193290915462016-07-27T07:00:00.000-05:002016-07-27T09:55:01.047-05:00Trusting Without Borders // Part 2<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Well... so here we are. Almost a year later and I am finally ready to pick up where I left off...</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So I knew it was time to make a decision on whether or not to expand our family. The question was NEVER did we want another baby; that was a given. However, more like should we have another baby. Would it be fair to Jude and Aubrey Lane to take a chance on having another baby with severe medical issues? </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I prayed constantly over the issue determined not to let this circumstance get bigger than God again. One night I remember thanking God for the scripture He had given me from Ecclesiastes to stand on. But I complained that the scripture was for Jude and Aubrey Lane and that I needed a new one for more babies. Almost instantly, He reminded me that His word is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow; that the verse stands for all pregnancies past and future. God had given me so much precious affirmation; affirmation I wasn't owed and didnt' deserve. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Even with that renewed assurance, I let my fear dictate my choices, not trust. I let feelings determine my decisions instead of the knowledge that God is in control and always good. I waited. I didn't step out in faith for that sweet baby despite the divine green light I was given.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Even though I knew that no one could give me clear answers or guarantees, I sought genetics counseling to get a better idea of the "numbers" that we were looking at.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">At counseling numbers and probabilities were once again figured out on a piece of paper and we were told their best guesses. IVF with preimplantation genetic diagnosis was put on the table before us. That would mean sifting through embryos and only selecting those unaffected by genetic abnormality to be implanted. Feeling uneasy with selecting choice embryos, I went to God with prayer over it. I knew that no one could really make this decision for us.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So one day I was reading in Numbers and I came to the place where God told Moses to speak to the rock and it would bring forth water. However, frustrated with his situation of groaning Israelites and knowing from his past experience it was a sure bet, Moses struck the rock and brought forth the water. And God was so out done with Moses over this that He denied his entry into the Promise Land. Moses didn't trust God to let Him bring water His way, and Moses stole honor and glory from God... I knew God was speaking to me through His Word. I knew that doing IVF with PGD would be striking the rock. I knew that the outcome would be the same- a healthy baby or two, but I would be stealing the honor from God that way. He didn't want me to strike the rock; He wants me to trust in Him. He wants me to do things His way. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">(Now I want to be clear that I hold no judgment on those who choose that method; I'm only sharing what God showed me personally. And sweet readers, please don't judge either. IVF is a wonderful technology given to couples that could not have babies otherwise and PGD is not the standard so embryos aren't just "discarded". And I have many friends who have chosen PGD, but mainly because their affected embryos are not compatible with life and the pain of multiple miscarriages is excruciating.)</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So all in all the genetic counseling only left me feeling more unstable than before I walked through the door. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I became emotionally distraught and struggled with depression throughout the next few weeks. And God put a man whom I greatly admire in front of me and Lane during this season. This man asked me if I felt like I was in the Will of God. I answered YES! I had to be! I wasn't getting the answers from God that I wanted but I couldn't argue that I wasn't getting clear direction from Him. This Godly man told me that he also believed that I was in the Will of God and that as long as I stayed there, any decision I made regarding children would be the right one. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>"Those who trust in themselves are fools, </i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>but those who walk in wisdom are kept safe."</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>Proverbs 28:26</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">You see, the genetics counseling wasn't going to assure me or give me a peace. I had affirmation from God, but foolishly it wasn't enough for me. So looking back now, the decline in my emotional and mental well being is no surprise. I was going by what our geneticist, who is just a man, told me. He is a Christian amazingly, but he's not God. We have to be so careful with the discernment that God graciously gives us, and take captive our thoughts and feelings so that we don't let them squander it.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So a couple nights later, Lane and I prayed and talked and decided that the desire for more children was definitely not ungodly, and that pain of not having anymore children far outweighed the fear of having another one with special needs. And that what kind of testimony and faith would we lack had we knew about my genetic dispostition before children and never had Jude or Aubrey Lane. They are both, with and without disability, such gifts to us and others. So after years of being bound up by fear, we stepped out in faith. We were going to try for another baby.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">to be continued...</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>The Mustard Seedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14103251317872770464noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8936534027032097902.post-71561456366876787722016-07-26T00:26:00.001-05:002016-07-27T07:54:18.667-05:00Trusting Without Borders // Part 1<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I was so torn about sharing this or not, but I fully believe in the POWER of prayer and writing it all down is part of the dealing and healing process for me. Maybe I'm writing it more for me because I don't even know when or if I will push the "publish" button. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">*For later reference, it is currently early August, 2015.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">There is a ton going on in our lives behind the scenes. But before I get there, I need to go back to when it all started.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">When Jude was just about 10ish days old in the NICU, I sat at his bassinet desperately trying to cope with his recent chromosome abnormality diagnosis. Y'all- this was seriously the hardest days of my entire life. Not only was my world ROCKED by Jude's diagnosis, but a fear gripped me so hard I could hardly breathe: <i>what if all my babies will be born like this? </i>The doctors were pushing for genetics testing with Lane and I, but I just couldn't bring myself to go through with it. What if the news was devastating? All I wanted in this life was to raise a bunch of babies with the man I loved. I had dreamt of a big family my entire life.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Desperate and knowing where my hope is, I picked up the bible I brought to the NICU everyday and begin to search for Ecclesiastes. I don't know why, I just knew I had to read there. I know now that was God. Well I started from the beginning. </span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Yes, God, I know there is a time for this and a time for that, but I need more. I know there is something else you have for me in this!</span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">That's when I came to Ecclesiastes 11:4</span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">He who observes the wind will not sow,</span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">And he who regards the clouds will not reap.</span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">As you do not know what is the way of the wind,</span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Or how the bones grow in the womb of her who is with child,</span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So you do not know the works of God who makes everything.</span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">In the morning sow your seed, </span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">And in the evening do not withhold your hand;</span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">For you do not know which will prosper,</span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Either this or that,</span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Or whether both alike will be good.</span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I knew without a doubt that God had given that scripture to me at that time. I clung to it over the next three years as my heart cried out for another child. You see a couple months after I read this, my worst fears were confirmed. Jude's genetic disposition was the result of an unbalanced translocation in which I unknowingly passed to him because I have a balanced translocation. And it could happen again with more children. Oh the grief... it was unbearable. It was greater than having a child with multiple disabilities; it was and is my deepest grief to date. I'm so thankful I could and did run to Jesus in the midst of my heartache. There were so many times over the next three years that I had to remind myself that Jesus is greater than any circumstance. I have a specific memory of one spring season being so heartbroken, I could not even find my voice to sing during worship service at church. Instead I just cried out for God to help me through this pain.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I still had the scripture, and knew God wanted me to step out in faith in Him and try for another baby. However, I did not let faith order my steps, but fear. I never really tried for another baby.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Then came the fall and with it the unbelievable surprise of a positive pregnancy test. Lane and I hadn't been trying at all. I wish I could say that my heart sang with joy at the sight of that digital test that read "pregnant" across it, but fear flooded my heart and I cried for about a week. Gradually my fear gave way to joy and I begin to be hopeful about this pregnancy and future baby. We decided we would tell the world about our expected bundle of joy early at six weeks. We thought about waiting until 12 weeks because the risk of miscarriage for us is SOOO high, but together we decided that the more people praying for our sweet baby, the better.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">After a bumpy road in faith, our sweet Aubrey Lane was born the next summer. Once again, I fell madly in love with a baby. She was PERFECT in every way. A complete miracle and gift from the Lord. My heart swells with joy and tears flood my eyes right now just writing about it. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">My prayers were answered and I had a healthy baby. However, I felt deep down inside that I didn't deserve my sweet miracle. I had never stepped out in faith and actually tried for her like I knew God wanted me to. I took the scripture and held it at it's word, but I didn't act on my faith; just my fear. </span><br />
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<em><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.</span></em><br />
<em><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">James 2:17 NIV</span></em><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Even though, I felt like God fulfilled His promises (let me be clear- I don't feel like God owes me ANYTHING. He has already given me His Son), I didn't feel like I held up my end of the deal. I also knew that I would want another baby and that the road to that would be a difficult one emotionally, but I focused all my energy on my new little miracle and the joy she and her big brother brought me. I stuffed the nagging worry over the path to future children way down deep and hid it there until the day it refused to be ignored any longer....</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">to be continued</span><br />
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The Mustard Seedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14103251317872770464noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8936534027032097902.post-80593943964829450782016-07-25T19:51:00.003-05:002016-07-25T20:08:15.015-05:00Low Key Summer Days<br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">This summer Lane’s work schedule has been overly demanding. Well actually his schedule has been demanding the WHOLE year. He works at a nuclear power plant in a little town just north of us. And the plant was on an outage for a month right in the middle of summer which meant Lane worked every day of the week with one day off. This outage was unplanned for the company AND for our family. We had actually been hoarding Lane’s vacation because we knew the time for the floor DIY was heading our way. Unfortunately, the outage came at THE SAME TIME that we were ready to start our floor DIY so it has thrown a BIG hold up on house progress. Which equals no time for those beaches we dream of playing on with our littles.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">The first week of summer vacation, Lane and I were both racked with guilt as all our friends were packing for the Alabama and Florida beaches. We wanted to make sure our kids had a great summer too. But as our summer days have unfolded, I can look back and see that while our summer has been low key, the kiddos have been making fun memories.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">The second full week of summer, Aubrey Lane went to dance camp which she absolutely loves. They dance, swim, eat, craft, dance, eat, and watch movies... HELLO?! Where is the dance camp for adults?? Seriously, though, she came home everyday exhausted but excited to show me her new hip hop moves and tell me about swimming in her dance teacher’s Mickey Mouse shaped pool. And AL is far from a morning person. We have never complained of kiddos getting up at 7am every morning; our's sleep late everyday and getting them up before 8am is a chore in itself, but that was not the case that week. All I had to do was remind AL about dance camp and she was out of bed in seconds. It was a good, good week.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Since then we have just being laid back. We mosey over to the new splash pad at the park a couple times a week in the mornings before the smoldering Louisiana heat gets to be unbearable. And this year, the splash pad along with EVERYTHING else we do as a family has been so different this year now that Jude is walking. I didn’t have to carry him- he can walk! </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Didn’t I mention that the pictures are cuter two now that Jude can stand next to Aubrey Lane. She won’t get much closer because Jude likes to pull her hair, and she knows it. Oh yeah, and I get asked if they are twins ALL THE TIME now! You should see the look on faces when i say they are four years apart.</span></span><br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Some days when my father in law was off, he and I were able to work on the floors some. During most of the other afternoons, it’s really too hot to do anything outside so we have been going by the library. Besides watching baseball, being read to is Jude’s favorite activity. And with Aubrey Lane learning to read, I decided to go ahead and let them get their first library cards. They were sooooo excited!</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">With longer days, we have been mostly working in the new house in the evenings. When Lane gets home, we bring the kids to his mom, and then we work on the floors until dark. We clean up, head to Lane’s parent’s house where his mom usually feeds us and has bathed kids waiting on us. So thankful for all my in-laws’ help. </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">A couple evenings, we let the floors wait and have taken the kids to do fun stuff out in the world or around the house. We’ve played a couple of rounds of miniature golf or “Hutt Putt” as Aubrey Lane calls it. And thankful our sweet friends who live near by extend an open invite to use their pool. AL is a fish and swims everywhere, and even Jude has gained confidence in the water and kicks around in his puddle jumper. So the pool is also a little therapy for him. It’s great for giving so much sensory input he seeks, and really works on his balance and core strength. All pretty important for him.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Last week we all participated in our church's vacation bible school. Once again, with Jude walking this year, it seemed like a new experience. Everthing we do seems like a new experience. Until this year, Jude completely depended on the use of a medical stroller or us carrying him anywhere and everywhere he went. Now that he is walking everywhere, he is not nearly as dependent, and our arms are free. It feels so liberating to watch him explore instead of carry him everywhere. In fact, Jude feels soooo independent that he will often swat away hands that are offered for him to hold... little stinker.</span><br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">But that’s it... Really that’s all it can be. It’s far too hot for the zoo or playground here. We hope to get over to the beach before the new school year starts which is in TWO WEEKS!! Can anyone else believe that? </span></span></div>
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<br />The Mustard Seedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14103251317872770464noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8936534027032097902.post-41767233898033773502016-06-24T12:31:00.000-05:002016-06-24T15:10:56.969-05:00More Than Just a Biscuit<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">*WARNING- this post is kinda long and has no pictures. A post full of pictures is on its way. I promise.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">So we have been extremely busy with the building of our new house. The floor DIY is about to kill us all!! Since we spend sooo much time in the new house, there is hardly extra time to do regular life stuff that we need to do like say laundry, clean house, grocery shop, cook... you get the picture. Thank goodness for my mother in law that has been practically raising our kids for us lately. </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">So anyway, last week Lane worked that Friday and I spent some of the day in the new house working and some of the day in our current home just trying to catch up on things. When Lane got home from work, I hadn’t cooked dinner yet- mainly because I haven’t grocery shopped yet. So he ran and got some of my favorite bad for you food- spicy fried chicken, mashed potatoes, red beans and rice, and of course the biscuits. Most of y’all know the place... </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">I know, I know... We’ve been eating horribly during this DIY, but I’m certain the meal quality will improve once we are in our new house. So to all my healthy friends, don’t deem me a lost cause yet.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Lane comes in with the takeout bag and starts unloading it on the counter so I can fix some plates. He does a quick inventory for me, but before he could finish he lets out a deep breath of frustration and looks to the ceiling. The fast food service forgot to give us all our biscuits and there was only one in the bag. Those of you who know which place I’m talking about understand that the biscuits are actually the coveted part of the meal. And we live pretty rural so to go get the biscuits would have taken at least 30 minutes. </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Well our four year old immediately became aware of the circumstances and started to cry. I’m telling y’all, biscuits are a BIG DEAL! Because I know my husband considers me first above anyone else, I reassured him that I didn’t need a biscuit to be happy with the meal. However, because my husband considers himself last after everyone else, he turned and reassured our daughter that she could have the biscuit. She accepted without out a second thought or a THANK YOU!</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">I stood there in our kitchen spectating this small moment and something just didn’t sit well with me about the events that I just witnessed. I know how everyone in my family feels about the biscuits. I know that my husband was just as disappointed as my daughter was. I was not surprised that my he gave the only biscuit to our daughter. However, I was surprised that she took it without thinking twice- like it was owed to her or something.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Memories from my childhood came racing back to me. Remembering my own mother saving the best piece of chicken for my father, and if there was only one biscuit, you can believe, he was going to get it. And there was no argument from me or my sister. </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">I looked over at my husband who was quietly fixing his plate. He was tired. Real tired. His shoulders were low with it it and his words few. He had been up since 3:30am to make a 40ish minute drive to work a 12 hour shift all without ever complaining. EVER! </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">And our daughter AND myself had just shown no appreciation or RESPECT for the king of our castle.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Not only had that happened, but I watched Aubrey Lane admire her full plate and knew what had to be done. I knew she was going to be very upset and that’s natural for a child her age. I quietly called her and asked her did she think she should give the biscuit to her daddy who worked all day so that we could want for nothing. Things started to get dramatic quickly as I expected. I tried reasoning with her at first, then just demanded that she give the biscuit to her father.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Lane started to object because he is Lane, but then he realized what was really going on and stayed quiet. <b>This was more than just a biscuit</b>. This was about respecting my husband in all areas. This was about Aubrey Lane honoring her father. This was a lesson for her too. Yes I hated hearing her cry and felt awful for it, but all I could see was her 20 years from now, a young adult breaking down because her father and I prevented her from feeling disappointment and frustration as a child. I could see her as a young wife and mother not respecting her husband because I didn’t restore divine order in our own home.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">I haven’t been the best wife to Lane or role model for Aubrey Lane. I’ll admit it. I don’t say thank you near enough and have put a huge demand on all my husband’s time between work and this house build. Then I give him grief if he forgets to take the trash out. God’s word commands the husband to love his wife and the wife to RESPECT her husband. Why not love? Because men need respect more than anything else. Gratitude translates to respect, and respect translates love to them. It is their love language from their wives and children! Respecting our husbands in Godly ways will certainly grow their love for us, and even grow our love for them. So I want to encourage any wife or wife to be reading this post (thank you for hanging in there), to go out of your way today to show your husband a special gesture of gratitude and respect. I can almost guarantee you will be blessed in return. And if you aren’t, don’t be discouraged because when we honor our husbands, we honor God, and we should do that without the need for reward.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">I stayed persistent and eventually even Aubrey Lane realized giving up the biscuit was the right thing to do. When she gave it to Lane she was insistent he have it, and in true Lane fashion, he broke it in half and shared it with her. But a lesson was learned.</span></div>
The Mustard Seedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14103251317872770464noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8936534027032097902.post-56360223483999569732016-01-24T23:08:00.000-06:002016-01-24T23:34:01.583-06:00Reflecting Just For a Second<span style="font-size: large;">Hey Y’all!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So I had all the intentions of not doing a recap of 2015 at all </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">because the more I thought about it, the more I decided that I </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">didn’t want to spend a whole lot of time on the past. And I don’t </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">want to focus on the future. I just want to relish in this present </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">moment. However, so much was accomplished this past year </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">that it does deserve a tiny highlight section. So here goes....</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Last year was an incredible year; it held equal shares of </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">moments that left our souls flooded with the joy of His merciful </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">gifts and sorrow that caused our hearts to cry out for His grace. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">You know, just your typical year, right?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We started the year busy with no big plans on the books and </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">nothing too eventful in sight; however, I could never have </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">imagined the sight God had in store for us. In April my sight </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">beheld Jude take his first independent steps. At seven and a </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">half, Jude learned to walk.... (just let that soak in for a second...) </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I can’t even describe the joy it has been to watch this boy write </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">his own story. I have so much to share on that in a later post> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">not a recap, but a beautiful lesson and epiphany. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Summer came without any plans or big vacations as well. We </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">spent a few impromptu weekends at the beach and daycations </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">around town- which I really enjoyed. And we celebrated our sweet girl's fourth birthday with a festive "Hoowaiian" party. Then summer ended and </span><span style="font-size: large;">brought with it a shocking and painful diagnosis. You see some </span><span style="font-size: large;">many months ago after tons of worry and prayer and fear and </span><span style="font-size: large;">more prayer, Lane and I decided to step out in faith and expand </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">our family. We knew our chances of miscarrying are extremely </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">high and that it is possible for a baby with special needs to be </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">born again, but we felt confident that the Lord would reward our </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">faithfulness with a quick and healthy pregnancy. *So arrogant* </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Well month after month went by without any good news; only a </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">tiny bit of hope one month that wasn’t meant to be. So after </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">doing some tests over the summer, I was handed the crushing </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">diagnosis of secondary infertility. Fertility treatment was started </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">immediately, but sadly was unsuccessful. The emotional stress </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">of all of this was debilitating, and we were trying to get the </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">construction of our house going, so I took a little break to </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">mentally regroup and get this house built. *Ok, so this is as open </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">as I am going to be about it at this time. Hiding it was getting </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">tough, but talking about it too much seems to wrongfully give </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">“it” a power over me. There are so many things the Lord did </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">and is doing through us with this that I’d love to expound on, but </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I’m just not ready yet. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The same week I received my diagnosis, we met with </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">ANOTHER builder who Lane thought was perfect for the job. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So into autumn we went. Jude started 2nd grade, AL marched </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">off to prek4, and we started preparing our land for construction </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">with a beautiful house pad. Our sweet redhead celebrated 8 years of wonderful life, then we took a great vacation to </span><span style="font-size: large;">Gatlinburg (our favorite) and headed home to start working </span><span style="font-size: large;">towards building. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We had a great Thanksgiving and Christmas. Lane was home </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">for two weeks during Christmas, and it was sooooo nice to all be </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">together. Our hearts were full to the brink watching our children </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">celebrate the birth of our Savior. Jude was more involved and </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">understanding than ever, and our Aubrey Lane moved us to tears </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">with her sweet spirit that cherished giving and overflowed with </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">gratitude in receiving. I cannot take credit for that child’s </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">beautiful heart; only give thanks for it every day.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">On Christmas Eve, our construction loan was approved. We </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">celebrated New Year’s Day by signing a contract with our </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">builder and here we are, mid January with lumber and building </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">materials in our yard.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So lots of things in 2015 to rejoice in, and lots of exciting things </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">to look forward to for 2016. But I don’t want to spend too much </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">time reflecting, or too many hours planning the future. Just </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">enjoy this present moment: my little loves snuggled up to each </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">side of me on the cold January day. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Stay warm, sweet friends.</span>The Mustard Seedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14103251317872770464noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8936534027032097902.post-2379630518971815492015-08-12T21:56:00.003-05:002015-08-12T21:58:59.328-05:00The Four B's<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
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With school starting tomorrow, I have had to crack down on my bedtime routines the past couple of weeks. I'm willing to bet that I'm not the only mom that finds bedtime a complete test of all patience and sanity. No, really, I'm not exaggerating in the least. I end up frustrated and in a bad mood because every button is pushed and every line is crossed by one little girl. <br />
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I hate laying the bedtime antics all on Aubrey Lane, but Jude loves routine and loves bedtime. He never gives me problem with going to bed. He may decide to get up at 4:30 or 5am to play, but I can put him back in bed and he goes back to sleep.<br />
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However, with AL, the whining begins with the mention of bedtime. I am FOREVER sending her back down the hallway to her bed, answering the call of "Mommy, I need you", finding an answer to all her excuses as to why she needs to be out of bed, asking her to quit singing or standing in her bed and playing... Instead of promising sweet dreams and a good night being my last words when I am leaving their room for the night, I'm reminding Aubrey Lane that she will get her bottom spanked if I have to come back there to tell her to be quiet or put her back in bed. <br />
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I. HATE. THAT.<br />
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I don't want my last words for the evening to be promises of discipline. I want my child to respect my rules and appreciate her routine. Too much to ask for a four year old?? I don't expect her to be perfect, but I fully believe that she is capable of following rules; and letting her slide in little things leads to bigger things. <br />
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So I started reading and the biggest denominator in all bedtime struggles was <em>routine.</em> Well we have a bedtime routine, but I don't think that I had put enough emphasis on it that AL recognized it as such. So I got to thinking about my child and how she thrives when she has a concrete plan in place. Like a to do list of sorts (wonder where she gets that from.. <em>ahem) </em>So I came up with routine complete with verbal steps to be completed in order.<br />
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We now have <strong><em>The Four B's of Bedtime</em></strong><strong><em><br /></em></strong></div>
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<em>Bath</em></div>
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<em>Brush Teeth</em></div>
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<em>Book</em></div>
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<em>Bed</em><br />
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During her evening play, about 45 minutes to an hour before bedtime, I will announce that it will be time to start the Four B's soon. I find that if I give her about a 5-10 minute warning to prepare herself, she does much better. After we put away most of the toys, she goes to work on the Four B's eager to complete the task. <br />
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On special nights when Aubrey Lane is being resistant, I will bribe her with a bubble bath. Oh how I would love to just let her take a bubble bath every night, but her eczema says "No". Don't feel too bad for her- she has a bathtub full of mermaids to makeup for the lack of bubble baths. I have also felt that Jude and AL might be to the age where we can't bathe them together anymore making baths twice the work they were before. It's easy when Lane is home because while I'm drying and dressing AL, he's bathing Jude. This is super helpful because sometimes AL's nighttime eczema regimen can be pretty intense. But there are plenty of nights Lane is working and it's all up to me. Whew it can be a task-<em> Who need's a glass of wine to wind down in the evening? After the B's by myself my, I don't need any help winding down.</em><br />
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My littles just love their blankets and I ain't taking them away anytime soon.</div>
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And no they do not always have matching pajamas on. It has really been too hot for more than a t-shirt at nighttime anyway. But I thought dressing them sweet would cheer me up a little.</div>
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Once we make it through the Bath and Brush Teeth, I usually let AL pick out a book or two. The littles LOVE to be read to. They love the Little Blue Truck books and Dr. Seuss. Jude really loves Eric Carle too. Lately, I can see where AL is growing up and becoming more of a little girl because she is requesting less board books and more Fancy Nancy. Then I will finish with a page from our little devotion and prayers in their beds.<br />
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This is the devotion I am currently using. I like the way it's set up. When AL is a little older, I will probably switch to the children's version of Jesus Calling, but this seems to be just their speed right now. </div>
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There we have The Four B's of Bedtime.<br />
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It isn't always Unisom for kiddos. I still get the occasional request for water or plea to come sleep with me, but things do go a little smoother.<br />
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Do you have any special bedtime routine with your little? </div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>The Mustard Seedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14103251317872770464noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8936534027032097902.post-65897054591764261922015-08-09T00:37:00.001-05:002015-08-13T09:55:46.072-05:00Hi.. Remember Me?<br>
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Can you believe that it's been a year since my last blog post?<br>
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A FULL 12 MONTHS! <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">365 DAYS! </span><div>
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A. Whole. Year.<br>
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It's not that I haven't wanted to blog. There were many times I sat down with a well thought out blog post and just never got around to put the finishing touches on it and hitting that gratifying "post" button. Then after about 7-8 months, I realized that having been outside of the blogging community for so long has left me feeling out of date and overwhelmed by the whole blogging process. This led me to feel like maybe it was time to finally say goodbye to the blog, but the thought of never blogging again put a pain in my chest and a lump in my throat. I knew that couldn't be the right decision.<br>
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This blog is important to me. It's a real time scrap book and journal. I love looking back over the years and reliving the feelings of those precious little blogged moments. <br>
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The issue with blogging this year was not with content. This past year carried more than its fair share of heartaches and glorious days in the sun (which I hope to share later). The real issue, if I'm being honest, is that I felt I bit reclusive this past year. I tiptoe, with constant questioning and uncertainty, along the line between being an open book and over sharing. And as much as I want to be completely open with everything all the time, I fully believe that there is etiquette and grace in keeping some things private.. so it's a constant balance. And that's okay. I just want to make sure this blog isn't a dog and pony show of a seemingly perfect life. (Most of y'all know me in real life and know that's far from the truth. HA!)<br>
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So there is so much to catch up on and sooo many new adventures ahead. Jude is almost 8 and Aubrey Lane just made 4! -Putting that in writing makes it really sink in that my babies aren't babies anymore. My writing is terribly rusty and probably completely dull so go easy on me, but other than that I feel pretty excited to be back. <br>
<br></div>The Mustard Seedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14103251317872770464noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8936534027032097902.post-27260226233110620972014-08-08T10:25:00.000-05:002014-08-10T18:41:50.872-05:00Because I know...<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Most of you ended your day by asking your sweet one if they had a good day, if they liked their teacher, did they make a new friend, if they enjoyed their lunch, did they learn something new, what was their favorite part of the day, what was their least, if they had fun, if they didn't and why, and so on and so on.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">On the other hand, I cannot ask Jude these questions and expect an answer. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I have to have complete and blind faith that he likes his teachers, that he made new friends, that he was treated kindly, that he received the education he deserves, and that his needs were met above and beyond.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">And you know what? </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I do have that faith.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Do I have faith in the school system? Not nessacarily. We live in a great school system that has been awesome so far. However, it is a "system" and systems don't work for every person and child. If that was the case, we wouldn't have private schools and home schools.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Do I have faith in the teachers and staff? I have met them a few times, and they all seem nice. I have heard many sing their praises, but I don't know them. Not really. And to have faith in man would be silly.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Do I have faith in myself as a parent to do the best and make the best decisons for my son? No way. I make mistakes hourly. I pray daily for forgiveness of where I could have done better and guidance to do better the next time I have the opportunity.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">My faith is not in the school system, not in the teachers, and not in myself. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">My faith is in Christ alone.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The same faith I had that God had a plan with giving us a child with special needs is the same faith I have in Him when I enroll my son in school and trust them to take care of him.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The same faith I had that The Lord would heal my three month old and let him live is the same faith that allows me to drop him off at school every morning without tears of fear.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The same faith I had that God would allow Jude to walk one day despite the fact that he could barely sit up is the same faith I have when I watch Jude walk in into his class in the morning holding the hand of his teacher.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The same faith that I have in His Grace when the fear over the next five years of Jude's life threatens to steal my joy, is the same faith I have when I tuck Jude in at night and anticpate a good day for him tomorrow.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Because I know...</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I know Who goes before me. I know Who stands behind. The God of angel armies is always by my side.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><i>"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."</i></b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><i> Deuteronomy 31:8 </i></b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>The Mustard Seedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14103251317872770464noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8936534027032097902.post-53026967607794312252014-05-18T18:53:00.000-05:002014-05-18T20:46:02.704-05:00Red Stick Summertime- Part One: Around the House<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">With the arrival of summer break upon us, I am already anxious over having two restless littles in the house and under foot. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Don't get me wrong, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE having my kids all to myself during holiday and summer breaks. It just seems that Aubrey is in a very good play stage, but I am her only playmate. And Jude needs tons of interaction and stimulation to maintain his development. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Plus Louisiana summers are anything but mild, and it won't be long before I hear "it's too hot" from the mouth of my little girl.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Last year when summer began, I was so excited. This was the first summer I had ever had a walking/talking child. The years before, Aubrey was a baby, or I was pregnant and tired, or Jude was sick, etc etc. I had expectations that last summer was going to be a wonderful time of new experiences and fun in the sun.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Well....</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The thought and intentions were there...</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">But the fun? It was sparse and replaced by stress and frustration.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Turns out that even though Aubrey was walking, it was just as hard to get the kids ready and out of the house for anything. I vividly remember sitting in their disaster of a bedroom and sobbing tears of disappointment and frustration wondering how much longer until school started back and I found glorious routine again. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The days were so long and not at all the fun I thought they might be. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">What happened?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Well this year, I don't share that same excitement. I feel kinda worried that a repeat of last summer's misery may be creeping around the corner. So to counteract my worry, I decided to schedule some fun things for my family. I think that was my biggest problem last summer; I didn't make a plan.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So I am making a summer planner for my kiddos and activities with them. If you think that's kinda over the top, let me just put it this way: Everyday we keep planners so that we can make the most out of our work and social time, so it's very reasonable that keeping a summer planner will allow us to make the most out of our time with our children. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I have three categories in the planner: </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Around the House</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Little to No Cost Around the Town Activities</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Events and Activities In the Area</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">This post will be about activities Around the House.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I don't plan to fill every day with an activity away from the house. I think summertime should be full of backyard adventures. And I want to have several types of activities. Some that need my help so I get to interact with them, some that require them to be independent so I can get things done too, some that involve sensory play, some that create learning experiences, and some that are just plain fun.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So here are some activities for around the house:</span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_iSZbkVrqfs/U3lGdDpFkbI/AAAAAAAAPMs/ImymeGLOCqI/s1600/IMG_3022.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_iSZbkVrqfs/U3lGdDpFkbI/AAAAAAAAPMs/ImymeGLOCqI/s1600/IMG_3022.JPG" height="400" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Fingerpainting on the porch- the mess rinses right off with a water hose</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Picking real food from the garden </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Pulling out the baby pool and sprinkler- makes for a great nap time</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Setting up the Jump 'n Slide in the evening</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Evening blanket picnic- simple things are extraordinary to littles</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Playing with sidewalk chalk and bubbles- my favorite</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Bean bag toss - making boards is on my hub's summer honey do list</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Playdough playtime at the dining table- for days that are just too hot</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Story time- not just for bed time; a good transition activity </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Dance Party - turn up the music and get the wiggles out before lunch and nap time</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Activity sheets- tracing letters, counting items, matching colors</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Teach age appropriate chores with chore charts- my other favorite</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Have a tea party</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Cooking Lesson- let them help make lunch or a snack</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Hide and Go Seek- Jude and AL love "seeking" Lane and me</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Bible Lesson- can be story time</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Craft Time: Paint a canvas or complete a craft from store kit</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Make a paper chain </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">This is what I've compiled so far. Honestly, the possiblities are endless for around the house play, especially with the help of Pinterest. Some activities need prep and planning, but it's never a good idea to wait until there is nothing to do to find something to do (hence last summer). I have a craft cabinet in my dining/kitchen area full of fingerpaint, acryclic paint, crayons, water color, chalk, playdough, construction paper, brushes, sponges, glitter, glue, stickers, activity sheets... you get the picture right. It's our Craft Command Center, and I will be printing activity sheets and heading to Hobby Lobby and Michael's to make sure it's fully stocked by the end of next week when the final school bell rings.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">A friend of mine helped me do a trial run during a play date with Aubrey Lane and her twin boys. Thanks to a well stocked craft cabinet and a mom armed with dinosaur foam stickers, not only did we keep 3 almost 3 year olds busy for nearly 3 hours, but they kinda enjoyed themselves too. We scribbled on paper with chalk and covered it with stickers, completed a quick construction paper craft found on Pinterest, and made a paper chain to countdown the weekdays of summer. Then hung it all up for display in the dining nook.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> I don't care if my house looks like a preschool; that's where I am in life right now and I want to embrace it. BLOOM! Right?</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Don't get me wrong, there will be those rainy days where we pop in Tangled or Frozen for the 100th time and snuggle on the couch. I just don't want those days to become the standard summer day.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I want to encourage you (and myself) that this is a very precious season of your life. Before you know it, that little prince or princess will be a teenager and off with their friends or working a summer job, and that special one on one time you had fingerpainting or singing nursery rhymes will be in the past. Be present in these sweet moments because this season, like others, will be over before we know it.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">If you have a house full of littles, I hope you found this post helpful. You might have some ideas of your own and I would love to hear them. And if you have older children from preschoolers to preteens, I'd love to hear your summer game plan for them because it won't be long before I am in that age group as well. </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Well I hope you had a good weekend. Stay tuned for Part Two!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Angel</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>The Mustard Seedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14103251317872770464noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8936534027032097902.post-2874784357361234452014-05-03T18:41:00.000-05:002014-05-03T18:41:28.504-05:00Growing and Remembering<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">With the late arrival of this year's spring (you don't even want to get me started on how much I dislike Punxsutawney Phil), we are getting a late start on the planting... which I'm sure is okay because it was 50 degrees a couple nights ago and it's MAY... IN LOUISIANA!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Plus the passing of Lane's sweet Maw Maw Nell and the events that followed didn't actually leave us in the gardening mood. For the past couple of years, we have bought her a tomato plant upon her request. This year, we bought our plants while she was in the hospital just a handful of days before her passing. Lane decided to go ahead and buy her a tomato plant- he was confident she would get to come home and tend to it. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">After her passing, I mentioned to my friend, Beth, that I was so sad about all the selfish things I wanted Maw Maw here for and that it breaks my heart that Aubrey Lane may not have any vivid memories of her. Well Beth had the sweetest idea- to plant the tomato plant we bought for Maw Maw and talk about her to the children. And to maybe do it every year.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So we did. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">We planted one for Maw Maw who was laid to rest Good Friday. We planted one for Paw Paw who was laid to rest Good Friday last year. We adorned one container with a yellow pinwheel, the other with a blue. We plan to do the same on Good Friday next year, and the next, and the next...</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">We talk about it to Aubrey Lane because she often asks where she is. I don't know how much she understands, but we have explained that Maw Maw is with Jesus, and that Jesus lives in heaven and and in our heart so that is where Maw Maw lives. So now when we walk past her house on the way to and from the mailbox, Aubrey Lane will simply state "Maw Maw's in heaven." It's not a complex or sad thing for her. It just simply is. Kinda beautiful to witness that child like faith so many of us seek for ourselves.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Okay back to planting and a lighter note before I pull out more tissue...</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">This year Lane built me another raised garden. It's a little smaller than the first so I decided to use the garden for herbs and tomato plants. I am already excited thinking of the tomato basil soup full of fresh ingredients from my garden. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">As time passes, I hope to eventually add more gardens or raised beds. Not only do I love the idea of cooking veggies grown in my own garden, our family life seems to thrive in the outdoors. Lane and I will actually call dibs on who gets to cut the grass. My only worry is Jude- he loves being outdoors when we can give him undivided attention like in a swing or wagon, but since he can't play independently, being outdoors while the family is tending the garden or picking up sticks isn't appealing to him at all. We used to pull out a pack and play and let him play while we worked, but he doesn't seem to like that anymore. He has also outgrown the toddler swing, so Lane and I have talked about saving money and getting the children a nice swingset for Christmas and an adaptive swing for Jude. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">In the meantime, we are making sure that Aubrey Lane understands the importance of including him in her playtime: rolling the ball with him, blowing bubbles with him, even driving him around in the Power Wheels which is pretty adorable. Any other outdoor activities or playtime ideas for Jude would be greatly appreciated.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">It's truly a season of growing for us in many areas... hope it's the same for you as well.</span><br />
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The Mustard Seedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14103251317872770464noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8936534027032097902.post-6245730585209850282014-05-01T17:46:00.001-05:002014-05-01T17:46:28.833-05:00The Homestead Needs a Name<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Happy May, y'all!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So the last time I gave an update on working towards homesteading, I was in a turmoil over choosing the right house plans. I just kept stalling. First it was waiting on Lane to finish and pass his training (a 10 month process). That ended in September. Then it was the holidays and vacations and so on and so on, realizing that I was finding excuses to stall. So after lots of praying and lots of discussing with the husband, I decided to wait until I felt comfortable moving forward with house plans. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">As the time went by, we would revisit the planning process only to realize that the same initial problems were still there- little problems like the orientation of the house, the placement of the carport, the decison on stock plans vs custom plans, and so on and so on. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Through advice from my friends and input from people who had recently build, I came to realize that I would never find the "perfect house plan". Even with a limitless budget, there would always be a compromise or priority that ruled out something that I think I can't live without.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So we decided to have custom plans drawn inspired by a coastal cottage design I mentioned in a previous blog post that you can read by clicking <a href="http://themustardseedfamily.blogspot.com/2013/04/up-to-speed-part-2.html" target="_blank">HERE</a>. We listed the things we needed in a house and went with that... everything else we desired would be considered a bonus if it happened. We know we need the following amenities in a home:</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">1. a master suite with lots of privacy so Lane could sleep through the day uninteruppted when he worked nights </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">2. a downstairs bedroom and bath for Jude</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">3. a bonus space or extra room for The Mustard Seed studio</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So we met with the a drafting design company and listed all the things we need and the things we want with lots of pictures of the style we want. We really like our designer's ideas, and when the preliminaries came in a couple of weeks ago, we were very pleased. We still have some tweeks and decisons to make like shingles or metal roof, porch size, doorway details, etc... Then we will meet with the designer and move forward with the final plans.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So. Exciting. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">When this whole process was just a dream, I found a blog called <a href="http://thatnewhouse.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">That New House</a>. The author, Anna, blogs the details of building a home similiar to ours from beginning to end. The blog was so helpful and insightful as was Anna in answering all my questions. I may have emailed her a time or two or three or four.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">During their process, Anna and her family decided that their homestead needed a name, <a href="http://okrahillfarm.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Okra Hill Farm</a>, in which she blogs about their life after the build.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Well she inspired me and I think our homestead needs a name as well. I want the name to capture the essence of Louisiana as well as Coastal Georgia and South Carolina. We have several ideas. First we have planted a couple Red Maple trees over the past few years so I like the name "Maple Cottage". I even have a Pinterest Board with the same name full of ideas for our new home. Lane wants to plant Dogwood trees and their is a young Magnolia tree that greets our driveway. So we thought of the names "Dogwood House" and "Magnolia Cottage". I want a chicken coop and a few more gardens, so we could always use "Farm" in the name somewhere- thought of "Mustard Seed Farm", but I would like to keep the business and home separate entities since my business is in my home. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Our property is very close to the Comite River so "Comite Cottage" is an option. And our property used to be Lane's family's back cow pasture and is still referred to today as "The Back Pasture", so that is an option as well.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So many possibilities... what do y'all like?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I hope to have a name for our homestead the next time I blog on this subject so that all my house building adventures can fall under it's title. It's all so thrilling (right now) to think about.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>The Mustard Seedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14103251317872770464noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8936534027032097902.post-66184521428036180592014-04-17T22:21:00.000-05:002014-04-17T22:37:07.196-05:00Is there ever a good time?<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I have been wanting to get back into lifestyle blogging for a while, but there never seems to be a good time... especially since I haven't been blogging for awhile. Just jumping into a blog post about the latest craft project, new home décor, or most recent episode of a violent stomach bug after months of being MIA just seems a little strange to me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Even now it seems a little absurd to write about any of that trivial stuff so soon after the recent passing of my husband's grandmother. Even though she was not my grandmother by blood, I loved her dearly; and being that I literally moved away from everything and everyone I knew to build a brand new life with my husband in his hometown, next door to his parents and grandparents, this sweet lady was part of the fabric of my everyday life. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Last year we laid Pawpaw to rest on Good Friday and our hearts were grieved. This year we will lay Mawmaw to rest on Good Friday as well and the grief reaches a whole new level. I never dreamed we would be saying goodbye to her so soon. So many things I thought she would be here for: Aubrey Lane's dance recital, Jude's amazing progress, having her over for dinner in the "big white house" we are planning on building, the possible arrival of a third baby one day, and so much more. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">My heart is heavy, but I am so thankful for the time we did have. She was there at the church when I took her family's last name, at the hospital to hold both of my newborn babies, and on her front porch just about everyday when Aubrey Lane and I would go check the mail or get Jude off the bus, and so many special everyday moments. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">That brings me back to the blogging about all the trivial stuff... but it's not reall</span><span style="font-size: large;">y trivial is it? It's my life all written down in this blog- when I choose to blog. These precious little everyday moments that seem trivial are so important. Looking back on them brings comfort and happiness and peace, especially during these tender times of grief and celebration of life. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So there is always a good time to start blogging again... and maybe it's today. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><i>"Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father's house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am there you may be also."</i></b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><i> John 14:1-3</i></b></span></div>
The Mustard Seedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14103251317872770464noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8936534027032097902.post-313910447070993742014-02-05T01:55:00.000-06:002014-02-05T08:06:41.118-06:00What does suffering look like for you?- A Heart Series<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">Did the title get your attention?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">It gets mine.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">For the past couple of weeks our
Sunday School class has stayed on the same lesson…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Suffering.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
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<span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">As we talked about how so many
Christians portray Jesus as the end to all your troubles and easy streets from
here on out, the honest truth is that with Christianity comes suffering.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a Biblical promise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">Consider it a great joy, my brothers<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">, whenever</b> you experience various
trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But endurance must do its complete work, so
that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">James 1:2-4</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">We continued to talk about suffering
and that we should be focused not on our circumstances, but the bigger picture
and not the “why” it’s happening, but the “who” we are really dealing
with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Lord.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The author of the Sunday School lesson book
gave a great explanation of this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When
dealing with suffering we often want to know “why” is this happening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Why” doesn’t dry your tears, bring back lost
time, nor offers comfort and peace, but The Lord does.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">At the end of class, people were sharing
about the silver lining of their suffering.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I almost spoke up to share that Lane and I were different people because
of our suffering.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That it was in the midst
of our deepest suffering, preparing to say goodbye to our 3 month old son, we
completely surrendered everything to God and proclaimed that whatever had to
happen to Glorify His Name was our ultimate desire.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And from that ultimate surrender in the midst
of our suffering, our hearts found peace and our son found healing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">But I kept my mouth shut.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">Why?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">Because it is such a hindsight
response.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Not an answer for someone right dab in the middle of suffering. Not too many suffering people are excited to hear that they are suffering to become better people. Everyone wants to be a better person, but few of us pray for the suffering that creates that kind of growth. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>Don’t get me wrong-<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will never discredit the miracle that took
place in our lives a little over 6 years ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But life is not a sprint, it’s a marathon; and day to day presents its
new struggles to conquer in the name of the Lord.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And although God’s name was glorified in a
life changing way in the midst of those very dark days, wasn’t I back in the
midst of suffering a couple years later begging God for a baby;<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>not being able to worship because my heart
was so full of pain and anger; the decisions facing me too heavy for me to
bear; fear and desperation surrounding me, drowning out the voice of the Holy
Spirit?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Letting my circumstances seem
bigger than the Lord and asking why instead of who?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Am I not back in those same very dark days again?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Suffering once again after surrendering all?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">But suffering looks different for me
now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead of surrendering to the
suffering, I am surrendering in it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">So what does suffering look like for
me?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">Well I can tell you what it doesn’t
look like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You will not see me shying
away from church and friends, sloughing off my prayer time, or shaking an angry
fist at God.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">What it does look like is me reaching
out and being real with my friends, and asking for their prayers and
encouragement; making sure I’m active in my church and Sunday School so I can
be there to soak up every bit of love the Lord has placed in my path that day; being
vulnerable to my husband, taking in his reassuring words and letting his
comforting hugs last longer instead of rushing away to do chores; letting him
pray for me and letting him know that he is needed in my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What suffering looks like for me is squeezing
my babies longer because even though it’s another child I ache for, I am so in
love and thankful for the two I have that I feel like my heart could explode;
praising my Savior with tears in my eyes and remembering that He is bigger than
this suffering.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Surrendering to Him, not
the suffering.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">What suffering looks like for me is
some of the most tender and precious moments of my life.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style","serif"; font-size: 20pt;">Precious friend, I don’t know the
suffering you are facing today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whether
it’s days of depression, the pregnancy test that refuses to show 2 pink lines, a
husband or wife you can’t see eye to eye with, a stack of bills and long line
at the unemployment office, the devastating diagnosis at the doctor’s office…
or maybe life has been easy for a while and you can’t remember what suffering is
like… Whenever suffering comes, not “if” it comes, but “whenever”, the days can
be dark, far from easy to get through, and circumstances may seem too heavy and
unbearable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t let the suffering
harden your heart. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let your suffering be
a tender and precious time of growing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t
focus on the “why”, but the “who” and let your suffering change your life in a
beautiful way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do not surrender to the
suffering, but surrender to Him in it.</span></div>
<br />The Mustard Seedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14103251317872770464noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8936534027032097902.post-86273203548831651612014-01-27T21:00:00.000-06:002014-01-28T00:10:52.529-06:00Finally! A Christmas Post!<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So I know that I have been promising a blog post from our Christmas events. I have been blogging a little of what's on my heart lately, but no cute pictures of the kids. And lets get honest, a blog post without pictures really isn't that fun, is it? In fact, one of the reasons I fell in love with blogging is because I have a good friend that used to blog and she had the most precious pictures of her family. She made you feel like you were peeping into the next issue of a Southern Living Magazine. But sadly she hasn't blogged in forever! (Dear friend, if you are reading this and know who you are, I miss your blog posts.)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I digress...</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">As for our Christmas events, it was pretty much the same huge work load for the business as usual, but I managed to get some great Christmas memories in there too.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">We started our Christmas season early by heading to Silver Dollar City for their Old Time Christmas Festival. We decided we wanted to make a tradition of bringing the kids there every year or every other year if schedules get too busy. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The last time we went to Silver Dollar City, we were preggo and didn't know it, so Aubrey Lane had never been. We actually stayed in the exact same cabin we stayed in 3 years ago.</span><br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vzIb0-GiaIQ/UubzSFLYv-I/AAAAAAAAN5E/8hx_RhNPDAU/s1600/DSC_0803.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vzIb0-GiaIQ/UubzSFLYv-I/AAAAAAAAN5E/8hx_RhNPDAU/s1600/DSC_0803.jpg" height="427" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XzOjSXXbicI/UubzSHk7EXI/AAAAAAAAN5I/mkLfxZPTDpM/s1600/DSC_0809.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XzOjSXXbicI/UubzSHk7EXI/AAAAAAAAN5I/mkLfxZPTDpM/s1600/DSC_0809.jpg" height="428" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-V8JMzs-yclE/UubzRcEVwaI/AAAAAAAAN48/RDM8t58EHvA/s1600/DSC_0833.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-V8JMzs-yclE/UubzRcEVwaI/AAAAAAAAN48/RDM8t58EHvA/s1600/DSC_0833.jpg" height="428" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-TgqYTztCBBY/UubzTicfy2I/AAAAAAAAN5U/Vue8LS-pxL4/s1600/DSC_0844.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-TgqYTztCBBY/UubzTicfy2I/AAAAAAAAN5U/Vue8LS-pxL4/s1600/DSC_0844.jpg" height="428" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I was so excited for Jude and Aubrey Lane to see the lights and hear the sounds of Christmas, but I was no where prepared for how COLD it was going to be. We were literally walking around in 20 degree weather. One night it got down to 12 degrees! I would tell the locals and tell them that where I'm from, schools and businesses close when it gets this cold. They would laugh like it was really a joke, yet I sit here blogging on the eve of the second Louisiana Sneaux Day in a week and schools and businesses are definitely closed for the next couple days.... Anyway because we were all so cold and so bundled, I didn't whip out my camera like I thought I would. I am really bummed that I walked away with only pictures on my iPhone (which I dropped and broke there). Lane even bought me an external flash for my camera since he dropped and broke it last year.</span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-M5MI9O6P5ig/Uuc65645rrI/AAAAAAAAN6I/foH3AAAHo4M/s1600/IMG_4468.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-M5MI9O6P5ig/Uuc65645rrI/AAAAAAAAN6I/foH3AAAHo4M/s1600/IMG_4468.JPG" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OJHIj_Xl7VE/Uuc7D6dM6BI/AAAAAAAAN6o/mo8EiaaDw2w/s1600/IMG_4490.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OJHIj_Xl7VE/Uuc7D6dM6BI/AAAAAAAAN6o/mo8EiaaDw2w/s1600/IMG_4490.JPG" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-bSoIO-ut2bQ/Uuc54Lx420I/AAAAAAAAN58/rv9pEvA9Rlw/s1600/IMG_4457.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-bSoIO-ut2bQ/Uuc54Lx420I/AAAAAAAAN58/rv9pEvA9Rlw/s1600/IMG_4457.jpg" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Anyway, the trip was great, and both the children were awe struck at the Christmas festivities everywhere. Jude loved the sounds and Aubrey Lane loved the sights. We heard "Oooo! Look at dis!", "You see dat?", and "You hear dat?" everywhere we went.</span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2-y99PVZxVQ/Uuc69FLjVdI/AAAAAAAAN6Y/EYmOVMRV_rI/s1600/IMG_4485.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2-y99PVZxVQ/Uuc69FLjVdI/AAAAAAAAN6Y/EYmOVMRV_rI/s1600/IMG_4485.JPG" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">We also went to the Dixie Stampede- best meal the whole trip, and out to Branson Landing where we met Neal McCoy- he was THE NICEST MAN. He sang to the kiddos and offered us free tickets to his show that night, but we already planning to go to Dixie Stampede.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eIxtYMoqHBA/Uuc5yYyLUkI/AAAAAAAAN5o/5UJTrQWnAFk/s1600/IMG_4450.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eIxtYMoqHBA/Uuc5yYyLUkI/AAAAAAAAN5o/5UJTrQWnAFk/s1600/IMG_4450.jpg" height="640" width="480" /></a></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">On the way home, we stopped in Monroe to visit some sweet friends and of course go by Duck Commander. </span><br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0za8RLQS93A/Uuc-JPPF4yI/AAAAAAAAN6s/tP0ka0m1yN0/s1600/IMG_4511.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0za8RLQS93A/Uuc-JPPF4yI/AAAAAAAAN6s/tP0ka0m1yN0/s1600/IMG_4511.JPG" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I didn't hop in the picture because camo, hunting- just not my thing. And YES, that is a duck call my daughter is blowing.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">After we got home from vacation, Thanksgiving was only a couple days later. We kept the tradition of getting our Christmas tree on Black Friday, but we didn't hop over to Home Depot this year. We have always had a real tree, but we decided that we would start cutting our own tree as part of a tradition. So off to the Christmas Tree farm we went. </span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5lHkCEbjVTE/UudAuqolZbI/AAAAAAAAN68/YMABPxXGSrc/s1600/DSC_0888.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5lHkCEbjVTE/UudAuqolZbI/AAAAAAAAN68/YMABPxXGSrc/s1600/DSC_0888.jpg" height="640" width="428" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">We normally get around an 8 foot tree, but this year I wanted something small and easy to decorate. A tree that was fun, not stressful. So we found a 5 foot tree and fell in love with it.</span><br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-X8jpajVqADM/UudBR7LW9KI/AAAAAAAAN7M/_cTXfGv0Tsc/s1600/DSC_0900.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-X8jpajVqADM/UudBR7LW9KI/AAAAAAAAN7M/_cTXfGv0Tsc/s1600/DSC_0900.JPG" height="428" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jLx8O1wnyJc/UudBR5zciuI/AAAAAAAAN7Q/N2g1H5nDQW0/s1600/DSC_0902.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jLx8O1wnyJc/UudBR5zciuI/AAAAAAAAN7Q/N2g1H5nDQW0/s1600/DSC_0902.JPG" height="428" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Aubrey Lane announced that she was going to pray at the Christmas tree. Not sure why, but she did.</span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-c11OAG7kPpM/UudDIgx_IBI/AAAAAAAAN7Y/aOe2gTpwrDA/s1600/DSC_0916.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-c11OAG7kPpM/UudDIgx_IBI/AAAAAAAAN7Y/aOe2gTpwrDA/s1600/DSC_0916.JPG" height="428" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So Lane chopped it down and home we went to decorate it our little 5 foot cypress Christmas tree.</span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SYmbn3EHQKs/UudDJuO37yI/AAAAAAAAN7c/gInqYJ9iZLg/s1600/DSC_0920.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SYmbn3EHQKs/UudDJuO37yI/AAAAAAAAN7c/gInqYJ9iZLg/s1600/DSC_0920.JPG" height="425" width="640" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-SQbI5-8HFZY/UudDKb1Ie6I/AAAAAAAAN7k/6EqF4yhQMu0/s1600/DSC_0932.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-SQbI5-8HFZY/UudDKb1Ie6I/AAAAAAAAN7k/6EqF4yhQMu0/s1600/DSC_0932.JPG" height="425" width="640" /></a></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I could have honestly made a whole blog post on the Christmas Tree farm. The day was so beautiful and fun. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">An awesome photographer and sweet friend did a quick session for us for Christmas card pictures. The pictures were beautiful; I want them all, but these were the two we put on our Christmas Card.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Lane worked nights on the day before Christmas Eve, Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day, so Santa waited until the day after Christmas to make his appearance, and the children didn't know the difference. They were so happy!</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">This was our first experience with Aubrey Lane starting to anticipate the excitement of the season, and it was contagious. Jude had a blast too! I can't wait for next year. </span><br />
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The Mustard Seedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14103251317872770464noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8936534027032097902.post-2163977128072689512014-01-23T16:13:00.001-06:002014-01-23T19:08:02.179-06:00One Little Word<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">So I know that I'm still overdue on a Christmas recap post, and I posted about New Year's resolutions and the dos and don'ts already, but I found fresh inspiration I thought I would share.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">My husband's cousin recently turned me onto <a href="http://whippycake.com/" target="_blank">Whippy Cake</a>. (If you don't know who this is, you need to find out now!!) I started by just following her on Instagram, then her blog, now her Pinterest boards. I am only a little obsessed, not too stalkerish. She has the best hair, makeup, clothes, etc etc... and she does video styling tutorials! It's crack in the form of social media! </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">ANYWAY... For the New Year she chooses <a href="http://aliedwards.com/2007/01/one-little-word-3.html#more-1934" target="_blank">One Little Word</a> to focus on for 2014. Instead of a list of resolutions that are most likely going to leave you feeling like a failure, you choose one little word to focus on for the year. A word to title your goals and motivations. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Becki from Whippy Cake chose the word "Ta Da". It's perfect and brilliant! Wish I was creative enough to come up with it. If you think I'm crazy about getting all worked up over the word "Ta Da", just click on the link above and read all about it. I bet you feel the same way afterwards.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Well since "Ta Da" is already taken, I needed to find my own word. I thought and thought and initially decided my word would be "Intentional". I want to be intentional for 2014. Intentional with my time, my resources, my words... I was kind of excited, but something was nagging me and telling me that wasn't my One Little Word.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">What now? My One Little Word for 2014 was not off to a good start so far. Then it hit me! I already had a word for 2014 and didn't realize it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So my One Little Word for 2014 is...</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><strong>BLOOM</strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Now most of you will remember that I have already blogged about that. You can read all about it by clicking <a href="http://www.themustardseedfamily.blogspot.com/2013/05/bloom-where-you-are-planted.html" target="_blank">here</a>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">So for 2014 I want to "BLOOM" where I am planted, or uprooted, or waiting, or happy, or unhappy. Where ever I am, whatever I am doing, I want to be blooming and doing it to the best of my ability. I want to make my current situation better, not scrap it and start a new one. Well.. you get the idea. By the way, "Bloom" may be my One Little Word, but I am still trying to be "Intentional" as well. Can you have Two Little Words??</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Will you choose a word? And if you have, I'd love to hear about it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Some tips to One Little Word:</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">*Pick your word. Any word that works for you. I have seen light, faith, joy, smile, fun, move, forward, relax, savor, pray... Be creative, be simple, be more, be less. Your word is your word. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">*Make your word visible. Get your word in a pretty print off Etsy, a local crafter to make you a sign or wall art, have it engraved or stamped on a piece of jewelry.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">*Apply your word to your life. It doesn't work if you don't use it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">*Hash tag your word to status updates and pictures to remind yourself and make your word more visible in your everyday life. Example: we just replaced our carpet with wood laminate. I hash tagged the picture on Instagram with #bloom.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Well that's it for now.. Hopefully I will be back soon with a Christmas recap post for y'all and an update on how the new year is going so far. </span></div>
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The Mustard Seedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14103251317872770464noreply@blogger.com0