Friday, June 24, 2016

More Than Just a Biscuit



*WARNING- this post is kinda long and has no pictures.  A post full of pictures is on its way.  I promise.

So we have been extremely busy with the building of our new house.  The floor DIY is about to kill us all!!  Since we spend sooo much time in the new house, there is hardly extra time to do regular life stuff that we need to do like say laundry, clean house, grocery shop, cook... you get the picture.  Thank goodness for my mother in law that has been practically raising our kids for us lately.  

So anyway, last week Lane worked that Friday and I spent some of the day in the new house working and some of the day in our current home just trying to catch up on things.  When Lane got home from work, I hadn’t cooked dinner yet- mainly because I haven’t grocery shopped yet.  So he ran and got some of my favorite bad for you food- spicy fried chicken, mashed potatoes, red beans and rice, and of course the biscuits.  Most of y’all know the place...  

I know, I know... We’ve been eating horribly during this DIY, but I’m certain  the meal quality will improve once we are in our new house.   So to all my healthy friends, don’t deem me a lost cause yet.

Lane comes in with the takeout bag and starts unloading it on the counter so I can fix some plates.  He does a quick inventory for me, but before he could finish he lets out a deep breath of frustration and looks to the ceiling.  The fast food service forgot to give us all our biscuits and there was only one in the bag.  Those of you who know which place I’m talking about understand that the biscuits are actually the coveted part of the meal.  And we live pretty rural so to go get the biscuits would have taken at least 30 minutes. 

Well our four year old immediately became aware of the circumstances and started to cry.  I’m telling y’all, biscuits are a BIG DEAL!  Because I know my husband considers me first above anyone else, I reassured him that I didn’t need a biscuit to be happy with the meal. However, because my husband considers himself last after everyone else, he turned and reassured our daughter that she could have the biscuit.  She accepted without out a second thought or a THANK YOU!

I stood there in our kitchen spectating this small moment and something just didn’t sit well with me about the events that I just witnessed.  I know how everyone in my family feels about the biscuits.  I know that my husband was just as disappointed as my daughter was.  I was not surprised that my he gave the only biscuit to our daughter.  However, I was surprised that she took it without thinking twice- like it was owed to her or something.

Memories from my childhood came racing back to me.  Remembering my own mother saving the best piece of chicken for my father, and if there was only one biscuit, you can believe, he was going to get it.  And there was no argument from me or my sister.  

I looked over at my husband who was quietly fixing his plate.  He was tired.  Real tired.  His shoulders were low with it it and his words few.  He had been up since 3:30am to make a 40ish minute drive to work a 12 hour shift all without ever complaining. EVER!  And our daughter AND myself had just shown no appreciation or RESPECT for the king of our castle.

Not only had that happened, but I watched Aubrey Lane admire her full plate and knew what had to be done.  I knew she was going to be very upset and that’s natural for a child her age.  I quietly called her and asked her did she think she should give the biscuit to her daddy who worked all day so that we could want for nothing.  Things started to get dramatic quickly as I expected.  I tried reasoning with her at first, then just demanded that she give the biscuit to her father.

Lane started to object because he is Lane, but then he realized what was really going on and stayed quiet.  This was more than just a biscuit.  This was about respecting my husband in all areas.  This was about Aubrey Lane honoring her father.  This was a lesson for her too.  Yes I hated hearing her cry and felt awful for it, but all I could see was her 20 years from now, a young adult breaking down because her father and I prevented her from feeling disappointment and frustration as a child.  I could see her as a young wife and mother not respecting her husband because I didn’t restore divine order in our own home.

I haven’t been the best wife to Lane or role model for Aubrey Lane.  I’ll admit it.  I don’t say thank you near enough and have put a huge demand on all my husband’s time between work and this house build.  Then I give him grief if he forgets to take the trash out.  God’s word commands the husband to love his wife and the wife to RESPECT her husband.  Why not love? Because men need respect more than anything else.  Gratitude translates to respect, and respect translates love to them.  It is their love language from their wives and children!  Respecting our husbands in Godly ways will certainly grow their love for us, and even grow our love for them.  So I want to encourage any wife or wife to be reading this post (thank you for hanging in there), to go out of your way today to show your husband a special gesture of gratitude and respect. I can almost guarantee you will be blessed in return.  And if you aren’t, don’t be discouraged because when we honor our husbands, we honor God, and we should do that without the need for reward.

I stayed persistent and eventually even Aubrey Lane realized giving up the biscuit was the right thing to do.  When she gave it to Lane she was insistent he have it, and in true Lane fashion, he broke it in half and shared it with her. But a lesson was learned.
Sunday, January 24, 2016

Reflecting Just For a Second

Hey Y’all!


So I had all the intentions of not doing a recap of 2015 at all
because the more I thought about it, the more I decided that I
didn’t want to spend a whole lot of time on the past.  And I don’t
want to focus on the future.  I just want to relish in this present
moment.  However, so much was accomplished this past year
that it does deserve a tiny highlight section.  So here goes....


Last year was an incredible year; it held equal shares of
moments that left our souls flooded with the joy of His merciful
gifts and sorrow that caused our hearts to cry out for His grace.  
You know, just your typical year, right?


We started the year busy with no big plans on the books and
nothing too eventful in sight; however, I could never have
imagined the sight God had in store for us.  In April my sight
beheld Jude take his first independent steps.  At seven and a
half, Jude learned to walk....  (just let that soak in for a second...)  

I can’t even describe the joy it has been to watch this boy write
his own story.  I have so much to share on that in a later post>
not a recap, but a beautiful lesson and epiphany.  


Summer came without any plans or big vacations as well.  We
spent a few impromptu weekends at the beach and daycations
around town- which I really enjoyed.  And we celebrated our sweet girl's fourth birthday with a festive "Hoowaiian" party.  Then summer ended and brought with it a shocking and painful diagnosis.  You see some many months ago after tons of worry and prayer and fear and more prayer, Lane and I decided to step out in faith and expand
our family.  We knew our chances of miscarrying are extremely
high and that it is possible for a baby with special needs to be
born again, but we felt confident that the Lord would reward our
faithfulness with a quick and healthy pregnancy.  *So arrogant* 
Well month after month went by without any good news; only a
tiny bit of hope one month that wasn’t meant to be.  So after
doing some tests over the summer, I was handed the crushing
diagnosis of secondary infertility.  Fertility treatment was started
immediately, but sadly was unsuccessful.  The emotional stress
of all of this was debilitating, and we were trying to get the
construction of our house going, so I took a little break to
mentally regroup and get this house built.  *Ok, so this is as open
as I am going to be about it at this time.  Hiding it was getting
tough, but talking about it too much seems to wrongfully give
“it” a power over me.  There are so many things the Lord did
and is doing through us with this that I’d love to expound on, but
I’m just not ready yet. 


The same week I received my diagnosis, we met with
ANOTHER builder who Lane thought was perfect for the job. 
So into autumn we went.  Jude started 2nd grade, AL marched
off to prek4, and we started preparing our land for construction
with a beautiful house pad.  Our sweet redhead celebrated 8 years of wonderful life, then we took a great vacation to Gatlinburg (our favorite) and headed home to start working towards building. 




We had a great Thanksgiving and Christmas. Lane was home
for two weeks during Christmas, and it was sooooo nice to all be
together.  Our hearts were full to the brink watching our children
celebrate the birth of our Savior.  Jude was more involved and
understanding than ever, and our Aubrey Lane moved us to tears
with her sweet spirit that cherished giving and overflowed with
gratitude in receiving.  I cannot take credit for that child’s
beautiful heart; only give thanks for it every day.


On Christmas Eve, our construction loan was approved.  We
celebrated New Year’s Day by signing a contract with our
builder and here we are, mid January with lumber and building
materials in our yard.


So lots of things in 2015 to rejoice in, and lots of exciting things
to look forward to for 2016.  But I don’t want to spend too much
time reflecting, or too many hours planning the future.  Just
enjoy this present moment: my little loves snuggled up to each
side of me on the cold January day. 





Stay warm, sweet friends.
Wednesday, August 12, 2015

The Four B's


With school starting tomorrow, I have had to crack down on my bedtime routines the past couple of weeks.  I'm willing to bet that I'm not the only mom that finds bedtime a complete test of all patience and sanity.  No, really, I'm not exaggerating in the least.  I end up frustrated and in a bad mood because every button is pushed and every line is crossed by one little girl. 



I hate laying the bedtime antics all on Aubrey Lane, but Jude loves routine and loves bedtime.  He never gives me problem with going to bed.  He may decide to get up at 4:30 or 5am to play, but I can put him back in bed and he goes back to sleep.




However, with AL, the whining begins with the mention of bedtime.  I am FOREVER sending her back down the hallway to her bed, answering the call of  "Mommy, I need you", finding an answer to all her excuses as to why she needs to be out of bed, asking her to quit singing or standing in her bed and playing... Instead of promising sweet dreams and a good night being my last words when I am leaving their room for the night, I'm reminding Aubrey Lane that she will get her bottom spanked if I have to come back there to tell her to be quiet or put her back in bed. 




I. HATE. THAT.




I don't want my last words for the evening to be promises of discipline.  I want my child to respect my rules and appreciate her routine.  Too much to ask for a four year old??  I don't expect her to be perfect, but I fully believe that she is capable of following rules; and letting her slide in little things leads to bigger things. 




So I started reading and the biggest denominator in all bedtime struggles was routine. Well we have a bedtime routine, but I don't think that I had put enough emphasis on it that AL recognized it as such.  So I got to thinking about my child and how she thrives when she has a concrete plan in place.  Like a to do list of sorts (wonder where she gets that from.. ahem) So I came up with routine complete with verbal steps to be completed in order.

We now have The Four B's of Bedtime
Bath
Brush Teeth
Book
Bed

During her evening play, about 45 minutes to an hour before bedtime, I will announce that it will be time to start the Four B's soon.  I find that if I give her about a 5-10 minute warning to prepare herself, she does much better.  After we put away most of the toys, she goes to work on the Four B's eager to complete the task. 




On special nights when Aubrey Lane is being resistant, I will bribe her with a bubble bath.  Oh how I would love to just let her take a bubble bath every night, but her eczema says "No".  Don't feel too bad for her- she has a bathtub full of mermaids to makeup for the lack of bubble baths. I have also felt that Jude and AL might be to the age where we can't bathe them together anymore making baths twice the work they were before.  It's easy when Lane is home because while I'm drying and dressing AL, he's bathing Jude.  This is super helpful because sometimes AL's nighttime eczema regimen can be pretty intense.  But there are plenty of nights Lane is working and it's all up to me.  Whew it can be a task-  Who need's a glass of wine to wind down in the evening? After the B's by myself my, I don't need any help winding down.



My littles just love their blankets and I ain't taking them away anytime soon.
And no they do not always have matching pajamas on.  It has really been too hot for more than a t-shirt at nighttime anyway. But I thought dressing them sweet would cheer me up a little.



Once we make it through the Bath and Brush Teeth, I usually let AL pick out a book or two.  The littles LOVE to be read to.  They love the Little Blue Truck books and Dr. Seuss.  Jude really loves Eric Carle too. Lately, I can see where AL is growing up and becoming more of a little girl because she is requesting less board books and more Fancy Nancy.  Then I will finish with a page from our little devotion and prayers in their beds.




This is the devotion I am currently using.  I like the way it's set up.  When AL is a little older, I will probably switch to the children's version of Jesus Calling, but this seems to be just their speed right now. 






There we have The Four B's of Bedtime.


It isn't always Unisom for kiddos.  I still get the occasional request for water or plea to come sleep with me, but things do go a little smoother.


Do you have any special bedtime routine with your little?