Wednesday, July 18, 2012
She is my Nineveh
I read a very sweet, encouraging, and endearing blog called Pearls and Grace. It is written by a lovely Christian woman that has a unique gift of making you feel important and loved. Her name is Sibi. You should hop on over there and check her out... and know that she is completely to blame for this post.
I originally logged onto the blog tonight to post some medical updates on both Jude and Aubrey Lane... but one of the first things I do is check my blog roll to see what's new in all my beloved blogs. A blog post [Pearls and Grace] titled "What is Your Nineveh?" quickly whisked me back to a couple years ago during a time of hurting in my heart.
Before Aubrey Lane was born, the desire for another child was so great yet the prospect of one was so out of reach. The longing turned into an obsession and intense pain.
I prayed constantly... Lord, please give me a child or take this desire from my heart!
But the desire never left. It only grew stronger.
I always felt prompted that stepping out in faith and trying to conceive a baby would be a crucial act of obedience on my part, but I just couldn't do it.
It nagged at me. It tormented me. The desire for another baby was always there in everything I did every part of the day. So I specifically remember that during the Priscilla Shirer Bible study of the book of Jonah, I could relate with refusing to go to Nineveh.
There I stood, with a desire so strong that it completely consumed me, a prompting from the Holy Spirit to be obedient and try for this baby, and a fear so powerful that it prevented me from doing so and receiving the blessing the Lord had in store for me.
I even shared this with my bible study group at the time.
But His mercy and grace...
Then came my whale... two unplanned little pink lines. And off to Nineveh I went. Right during my study of Jonah....
I spent the next 9 months begging for health, pleading for life. And asking for one more thing... although I know I didn't deserve it because this pregnancy was not a result of my obedience but one of provision..
BUT, Lord, you know I am pleading for a healthy baby, but may I be so bold as to ask for one more thing... one of the most delicate things on the face of the earth... a daughter?
And here she is... a healthy, beautiful, perfect, little daughter, just one day shy of being one year old.
THANK YOU, LORD, FOR YOUR NINEVEHS!!!
I often regret not naming her Jesse like we originally intended to. The name means "gift".
Posted by The Mustard Seed